Chased the Dream
by JustAnotherPseudonym
Summary: Dinah is just getting used to being a superhero when she's targeted by an enemey no one can quite comprehend. Oh yeah, and she falls in love along the way. Helena/Dinah
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Birds of Prey is owned by the WB

Disclaimer: Birds of Prey is owned by the WB.

Pairing: H/D

It's cold tonight. I didn't want to come out and do my sweeps but such is the life of a superhero. Not that I don't enjoy it, I do. It's probably the single best thing that has ever happened to me. It's given me a home and family, none of which I really had before, and plus I get to be a hero. Of course I can't tell anyone about it but I don't feel the need to. I know it sounds way too altruistic or something, but I just like knowing that I'm making a difference in this world. I don't know how big of a difference it is, but at least I'm doing something. I've unknowingly followed in the very same footsteps of my absentee and now deceased mother. That's something I never expected.

I never expected a lot from life though, I always just figured I had to chase my dream and find my own life because whatever life I was living when I was a little girl wasn't mine. I was the type of girl that was always staring off into space imagining what my real life was supposed to be like and what my real family was supposed to be like and who I was supposed to be like.

Oh hey look, a mugger. I definitely thought it was too cold for the common criminals to come out tonight, I guess I was wrong. Oracle sent me out alone tonight, she must not have expected more than this type of crime tonight. Sometimes I still wonder if she's just so protective because she cares so much or if she's so protective because she doesn't think I can control myself yet.

"Hey," I call out to the mugger, "Don't you think it's just a little too cold out tonight to be mugging people?"

He turns to me and smiles. I know he sees me as a helpless little girl, apparently the dark foreboding outfit doesn't give him the clue he needs to just run away. He doesn't answer me he only holds his knife up proudly in the night. Like most idiots that I've encountered he wants to fight me probably to prove his masculinity is still fully intact.

He runs at me with the knife screaming, I'm not sure if the goal of the screaming is supposed to annoy me or scare me. It doesn't make much of an impression either way. I side step his approach and stick my leg out to trip him as he runs by. He falls to the ground and the knife flies out of his hands. He jumps back up to his feet and starts taking swings at me. I block his fists and pay him back with a quick jab. He falls backwards but remains on his feet. I throw a few more punches and a couple of kicks his way and he's out for the count.

I turn around to the sobbing girl leaning against the wall in the alley. She's looking at me with that look that people usually get once you save their life. I like that look. It's one of the best parts of being the hero.

"Everything's okay now," I tell her. "He's not going to hurt you."

"Thank you," she stumbles out. "Thank you so much."

"Yeah of course." I walk over to her and help her pick up the contents of her purse. "Are you going to be okay?"

She nods and thanks me once more before she walks away. Chances are she'll maybe see me on the street again and she'll not even recognize me as the girl who once helped her out. The daylight Dinah and the nighttime Canary seem to have established themselves as two very separate entities. I'm not too sure if that's a good thing because even though I've found my home, my family, and direction in my life, I'm not too sure I've found out who I am yet.

:BOPBOPBOPBOP:

The clock tower is still. I'm guessing Barbara's hanging out somewhere waiting to jump out and scare me. She's good at that. Of course, she'll always want to know how sweeps went even though she already knows. She'll want to hear the details of what I saw and what I did. I'd like to say that I don't enjoy sharing my night with her but I really like it. I like telling her that I was able to handle myself and I like seeing the pride in her eyes when I tell her about some situation that I handled without even a single flinch.

I don't know why I need it and I don't know why I want it, but I want her approval. I want her to tell me that I did a good job.

"Hey," she calls out to me from above me. She's sitting at the table in the kitchen waiting for me with what would appear to be a warm cup of hot chocolate.

"Hey," I shout back and throw my jacket over a chair. "Anything interesting happen while I was out?"

Barbara smiles down at me, "I was just about to ask the same thing. But you know that, of course."

I shrug. "Sweeps were basically sweeps. I ran into one solitary mugger who was taken care of by the local PD and that's all." I'm by her side now and have an urge to give her a hug but I take my seat at the other end of the table instead. "Thanks for the hot chocolate by the way. It's cold out there tonight."

"I know."

She's waiting for me to tell her more. She knows I want to tell her how I was able to knockout the guy without even breaking a sweat. She knows I want to share with her the look that woman had in her eyes when she realized that she was saved and I was her savior.

I can no longer hold it in, "So okay what happened was I was walking by just doing sweeps y'know? And then I see this guy trying to rob this woman. He has her pressed up against the wall and who really knows what he was planning to do, so I got his attention and he turns to me. He was really ugly, but anyway he turns to me and runs at me with a knife screaming." I take a breath. "Why do they scream anyway?" It's a genuine question that I'll give her a chance to answer when I'm done with my story. "So I just kind of step out of his way and trip him. He falls down and gets back up and just starts swinging at me," I sit on my hands so I don't mimic his movements. "And I block him then knocked him out. When I turned around and saw the woman she was just looking at me...y'know the look, and it was great."

Barbara keeps her indulgent smile on throughout my story and I can see the twinkle in her eyes that tells me I did good. She's about to respond when Helena the Huntress comes storming into the clock tower. I can only guess that her night wasn't as easy going as mine.

"Something wrong?" Barbara calls out to her.

"What gave you that idea?" Helena rips off her jacket and there's a visible slash on the right sleeve.

"Eww...not good." I add in my own two cents.

"No kidding blondie. Do you know how much this coat costs?"

I just smile, shake my head and take a sip of my hot chocolate.

"Bastards," she mutters under her breath.

"Do you want to let us in on what happened?"

"Some guy ran at me with a knife and slashed my coat."

I want to relay to her the fact that my coat was left unaffected from my encounter with a knife but decide to wait until tomorrow. At least then Helena won't be as inclined to hit me...as hard. Barbara looks over at me and raises her brow. I see this as a challenge. She's daring me to say something now. She wants me to risk taking on Helena's wrath.

I am not so easily swayed. I will wait.

"You should start taking insurance out on your clothes," I say instead, "or you could just use some of the money you've inherited to buy a new coat and while you're at it you could buy me a few things too."

I don't like the look I'm getting now so I stand up and begin backing away from the situation. "Well will you look at the time," I point to the big clock that is behind us. "I should really be going to bed what with it being a school night and all. I'll leave you two to entertain yourselves."

I make it to my room without incident. I need to shower before I go to bed. The grime of the street has already started to seep through my skin and make me feel dirtier than any human should be. There's a knock on my door as I prepare for my shower. I call to whoever it is to enter and am greeted with a timid looking Helena.

"Yeah?" I ask when it appears she's not going to speaking on her own anytime soon.

"How'd sweeps go?" she asks hesitantly.

"Nothing major. I didn't get killed so that's a definite plus."

Silence fills the room again and Helena's odd behavior is actually starting to concern me. I'm wondering if my comment about her inheritance hurt her somehow. I thought we were okay with joking with each other now. I didn't mean to hurt her.

"If this is about what I said you don't have to buy me anything. I understand why you don't want to touch your father's money..."

Helena gives me this odd look so I stop talking. "You do?" she eventually asks.

"Well yeah, I mean it's like he's trying to make up not being there your entire life with money and it's like he thinks money will do something to make things better but it really doesn't because...well it just doesn't. Things don't work that way." I decide to stop talking before I say anything that might let everyone conclude that I am a complete idiot.

"Oh." She says after yet another long moment of silence. "That's not what I came to talk to you about though."

Oh so she just wanted me to look stupid. Now I get it.

"I need to ask you something?"

Oh so she wants my advice on something. Now I really get it. No wait. I don't get it. Helena never asks my advice about anything. What would she want my advice about? I don't know anything about anything. She's been here longer. Why doesn't she ask Barbara? Okay I'm feeling the pressure now. "What do you need?" I don't think she could hear the unfounded fear in my voice.

"Well, I need you to..." she sighs, "Why is this so hard?" She asks herself. "Okay what I want to know is if you'll help me with Reese."

I'm not quite sure what kind of look I'm giving her but it makes her turn around and tell me she's being stupid and to not worry about it. I reach out and grab onto her hand to stop her from leaving.

"It's not stupid. I'm just surprised. Why aren't you asking Barbara?"

"Miss Barbara 'keep a man at a good ten mile distance' Gordon?"

Okay so she has a point. "Okay. But why me?"

"You're good at these type of things. You let people in and you know how to act with people. You open yourself up."

Well when she puts it that way..."No I'm not. I'm terrible at these types of things. I just make an ass out of myself until people take pity on me."

"No you are good at it Dinah, you walked right in this clock tower and made it so I didn't really want you to leave. That takes some skill."

Did she just say..."You don't want me to leave?"

"Well no," she's shifting from side to side now. I think she's uncomfortable but that's okay because so am I.

"What exactly or why exactly do you want or expect to happen with Reese?" Maybe if I bring this conversation back to its original point we'd both calm down or at least I'd be able to calm down.

"I just think it's time that I...tried to...you know."

No I don't know. "You want to try...?"

"To have a life."

Wow. That was a very honest and upfront answer. "If you really want to make something work then I guess my only advice would be to let him see the person that you are inside. Cause you know when I see you without the Huntress persona and even with her I see a very attractive woman and I'm not just talking the outside appearance."

Wait rewind and back up. I just told her I thought she was attractive. That was on my list of things not to ever mention aloud in this lifetime. I guess I can scratch it off now. Oh look is Helena blushing?

"You really think so?"

Okay so since when did we become two schoolgirls chatting about boys and looks or to be more accurate when did Helena become a schoolgirl again and me actually act like one. I don't usually talk about boys and make-up with Gabby.

"Of course I think so. I mean if I were any older or uh...well my point here is I'd be very happy to be with someone like you. It'd be fun."

It'd be fun? Yeah maybe this conversation should end now. "I mean Reese is a lucky man and if you really want to see if this whole thing you've got going on with him will work then I say go for it." Can this conversation please be over now? I am still a teenager and I do still have the ability to fall down dead from embarrassment. It says so in the teenager handbook.

Thankfully Helena has had enough of the conversation as well because her cool defensive demeanor falls right back into place and I'm looking at the Helena that I know and love. Love? Yes shower I need to take a shower and then I need to sleep.

"Thanks." She says to me then turns and walks out of my room. Thankfully I am alone now and I can actually try and breath normally. I can take off this mask that I wear and at least admit to myself that I'm very happy Helena is going to try and be happy. She deserves it. I know she deserves it. On the other hand however...why the hell does it have to be with that...that...that stupid head Reese?!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Birds of Prey is owned by the WB network.**

Okay so it's been a week. Well actually it's been two weeks. Two very long horrendous weeks of having to hear a blow for blow account of how Helena and Reese's relationship has progressed. I've even been able to see the progression on a few occasions. I'm happy for Helena. I'm happy for Helena. I'm her friend and kind of like a younger sister to her because we share sisterly love so I'm happy for her. I'm happy for her. I'm happy for her.

I just figure if I repeat it enough then maybe I'll believe it. I should probably change my mantra from 'I'm happy for her' to 'Jealousy doesn't accomplish anything'. I'm not jealous of Reese though. Why would I be? What do I have to be jealous of? Can the man even add two and two together?

Okay that's not very nice. Detective Jesse Reese is an intelligent man. He carries such attributes as actually caring about his job and being concerned for the well being of Helena, and even sometimes I think he actually cares about me too. We haven't established any real friendly rapport but that's because I believe in a professional distance. If I get too close I may actually throw the man into a wall. So on the whole, keeping distance between us is a good thing.

Nothing serious has happened between them yet. At least I don't think anything has. I'm kind of sure…well semi-positive that Helena would tell me if seriousness has ensued. I get the feeling that she's opening up to him more but she's still hiding away a lot of stuff. She keeps a part of herself locked away and she only really shows it to Barbara and sometimes she even shows it to me. She's talked to me more now. And I'm not just talking about those surface conversations about fighting and the big bad evil of the city, but we actually talk. She's talked about her mom and I've talked about my mom.

I bet she hasn't talked to Reese about her mom. I bet he doesn't even know the first thing of why Helena became Huntress. Yeah that's right. He doesn't know anything and I do. I wonder what he'd have to say about that. Mr. 'I'm the best detective in all of New Gotham come look at how much of a pretty boy I am' Reese. I did say that jealousy was bad didn't I?

Okay so I need to concentrate now. I'm supposed to meet up with Huntress and we're supposed to stop some robbery of some bank because that's what we do. Detective Reese is going to be coming as well, but that's after we stop the robbers first.

"Hey," Huntress says from behind me. I jump slightly because I didn't hear her coming. It's easy to get snuck up on when you're not paying attention. I'm here to play the superhero. I'm here to play the superhero. Oh hey look, I've developed a new mantra.

"Hi. What took you so long?"

"I had to set things up with Jesse."

Oh it's Jesse now is it? We've graduated from Reese to Jesse. Well isn't that nice. It's fantastic even. Yes, it's nice and fantastic. Here to be a superhero. Here to be a superhero. Here to be a superhero.

"So what's going on?"

What's going on she asks? What's going on? Well firstly I'm about to start yelling for no other reason except for the fact she called Reese Jesse. Well that actually covers the first, second, third, and fourth things of what's going on.

"Four guys are inside the bank. From what Oracle can tell one is definitely Meta. He melted the door to the safe so that they could get inside."

Huntress nods her head and I can just tell by her stance that it's playtime for her now. She loves this. Hell, I love this. The adrenaline is flowing through me quite nicely now and I have a good high going on.

"Oracle Huntress is here now," I speak to our leader.

"Finally, what took you so long? I thought Canary might have to take these guys on her own." Ooh someone's in trouble. Wait? Does she think I can't take these guys on my own, because I so could.

"It doesn't matter. Let's just get this show on the road."

Oracle sighs heavily. "Fine." She then proceeds to tell us everything she knows about what's happening inside the bank. Once she's finished Huntress looks at me and I nod. We're ready to go take care of the current situation.

We enter the bank through the same entrance the man that can melt metal entered. Each of the guys has a huge bag of cash in their arms. When they finally spot Huntress and I they stop confused. They're perfect scheme apparently not as perfect as they once thought.

"Who are you?" One of them asks.

"What does it really matter?" I ask. "We're obviously not here to help you carry the money out of here. We are blocking your exit."

The man looks at me confused then turns his attention to Huntress. She only shrugs then rushes him and hits him in the jaw. He quickly recovers and they're going on round two. I throw one of the men against a desk and take my chances with the metal melter. I'm able to handle him surprisingly well until he gets a chance to touch my skin and burns my hand.

Pain shoots through my entire body and I know I must have screamed louder than I ever have before. I don't like getting burned. There are some bad memories there. I recover as quickly as possible, which isn't quick enough because I see metal melter man coming reaching for my bear skin again. I roll away from him and then hear a gunshot.

Detective Reese is standing in the doorway and guy number four, who I wasn't really concerned about, is lying on the ground bleeding. It doesn't really take me too long to realize that he had a gun in his hand and he had been facing my direction. Well, so now I owe Reese my gratitude for possibly, maybe, saving my life. I'd have to tell him my thanks later. Metal melting guy had only hesitated as long as I did when the gunshot occurred.

I jumped to my feet and since I was kind of tired of getting burned I gathered all the energy I had left and concentrated on throwing energy at the man to get him away. To my utter amazement it worked. I looked down at my hands expecting to find some weird something coming from them but they appeared perfectly normal except for the burn marks.

I turned my attention then to Helena who was quickly approaching me. She grabbed my hands in hers and started telling me that I was okay. Something that I kind of already figured out.

"You need to get Oracle to take a look at those."

That was something that I knew too because they hurt like hell. I was a superhero though so I had to make sure everything was okay. I looked around and everything looked fine. All four robbers were in some state of pain and unconsciousness, which was a positive thing. Huntress and Canary had saved the day once again and New Gotham was safe. Now seemed like a good time to pass out.

BOPBOPBOPBOPBOPBOP

When I woke up the first thing I noticed was that my hands had been bandaged. Actually, that was the second thing I noticed. The first thing I noticed was that someone was holding my hand that had been bandaged. I turned my head and was facing the very concerned face of one Helena Kyle. I also had this quite painful uh…pain in my side. I wasn't quite too sure that had happened. I hadn't felt that before.

"What happened?" I asked trying to sit up, but Helena pushed me back down.

"You need to rest."

"Okay. But what happened? I don't remember all that much. We stopped the bad guys then I'm here."

"You were shot."

"What?" I jumped too quickly for Helena to stop me this time. "I don't remember getting shot. Where was I shot?" I started to turn in the bed and was then once more made aware of the pain in my side. My guess was that I was shot in the side. When though? "I only heard one gunshot."

"That's because the guy wasn't able to make another one. I stopped him before he could."

"Reese was there?"

"He didn't pull his gun quick enough."

"So I was shot?"

Helena nodded.

Wow. Shot. I had been shot. That's never really happened to me before. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would.

"Did the bullet actually hit me?"

"Actually he just kind of grazed you. It wasn't that bad. You got lucky."

That's when I realized Helena was still hanging onto my hand. It wasn't a soft touch either. No. She was actually hanging onto my hand. I don't think she'd have let go if a thousand talking chimpanzees came up to her and started interviewing her.

"Does that mean now I get some superhero star patch that tells the world I've taken a bullet for the city?"

I don't think Helena finds this funny because she's not smiling nor smirking nor grinning slightly.

"It isn't funny Dinah. You could have died."

"But I didn't."

"But you could have."

"But I didn't."

"But you COULD have."

"But I didn't."

I'm sure we could have gone on like that the entire night if Barbara hadn't come in to settle it. "Enough," she said, "Dinah you could have died and Helena she didn't. Do we all have the facts straight now?"

Helena and I look at each other and then turn our attention to Barbara. I'm not too sure what the look meant but I just figured we agreed to not talk about this anymore. At least that's what I was going for in the look.

"How are you feeling, Dinah?" Barbara asks as she comes closer to my bedside and starts inspecting all my wounds. "Your hands? Do they still hurt?"

Helena is still holding onto my hand and Barbara, I'm sure, takes note of this but decides not to comment.

"I can't really feel anything except my side."

"Well that's to be expected. How is everything else?"

I'm not quite sure what Barbara means by everything else. I mean my health seems fine. I'm in rather good spirits considering I could have died but didn't. Oh wait yes that's now all-consuming fear enveloping my heart. I was shot. I could have died. If Helena hadn't stopped that guy then I would be dead. Also, Reese didn't save my life so I don't owe him for anything. There are plusses to near death experiences it would seem. Mostly though I think I was a little afraid. And little afraid should be expressed differently like completely and utterly terrified. What good were all these weird powers I had if I could still get shot and not even know it. I mean tonight I threw a guy with some weird energy thing because I really wanted to yet I didn't recognize getting shot. I didn't recognize the fact that someone was even pointing a gun at me until it was too late. Yes completely and utterly terrified kind of sums things up nicely.

"I'm doing fine." I finally answer Barbara. She doesn't believe me. I don't think anyone else in the room believes me. I don't believe me but I don't want to talk about this now.

I could always pretend like it didn't happen. And if it didn't happen then I don't have to deal with anything. I can just move on with my life and everything will be fine. That'll solve all kinds of problems for me. If I pretend like I don't feel anything towards Helena then I have no reason to get jealous over Reese (although that hasn't been working too well) I can pretend like getting shot didn't scare me and we can continue living on acting like one big happy family. Superhero family. The only pain I have to work through is the physical and I've done that before. It's no big deal.

I remove my hand as carefully as possible from Helena's grip and turn my head so that I don't have to be faced with either of their gazes.

"I'm kind of tired. It'd probably be a good idea for me to get some sleep. You know with the whole being shot thing making me weak and all." This is my dismissal for them. Barbara has checked up on me. I'm still alive and she doesn't look too worried so I think I'm going to make it through the night and Helena and I have had our little argument about what happened. It's time for them to leave me alone now. I don't care how hurt they both look from it. I can't care at least not about this.

They each make their way towards the door and they each take one look back as they leave. They're going to give me my space. That's a good thing. I notice however that after Helena leaves she doesn't shut the door all the way. She leaves it open just a crack but it's still open.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimers: Birds Of Prey is owned by the WB network**

I can count all the times I've been absolutely terrified in my life on one hand and still have a few fingers left over. There was the time my mother died, the time Barbara took me in, and the time Dinah came into my world and decided to change things. Two weeks ago I added another instance of being absolutely terrified and that's when I realized Dinah had been shot.

Barbara insists that none of it was my fault but she wasn't there so she just doesn't know better. I was too slow. With all this superhuman speed and agility I was too slow to stop that idiot from shooting Dinah. I don't know if even Dinah realizes how close she came to getting…well getting shot worse. I don't know what Supreme Being was looking out for her that night, I don't know what made her roll one way instead of another but she did and the bullet only grazed her side. If she had just moved the other way then I don't know how well off she'd be right now.

I know I shouldn't take responsibility from what happened but it's hard not to. It's very hard not to. It wasn't entirely my fault. I know this. I know that we risk our lives every night and we both accept the risk of being mortally injured but I don't like having to accept that when it comes to Dinah.

When she was fully recovered I wanted to tell her that she was no longer allowed to go out on sweeps. I wanted to tell her that she was no longer allowed to risk her life, but I knew that she'd just hate me more if I did and I don't want her to hate me anymore than she already does. Plus, risking her life for other's is just who she is. I could probably no more demand she change that than I could demand Barbara to actually let someone into her heart a little. Am I just completely useless around here?

Oh no wait. I'm good for something. It would seem that I'm actually very good at being a punching bag for Dinah. She wants to get better. I can certainly understand that. Part of her working out so much is probably due to the fact that she doesn't ever want to come that close to death again. I even support her learning to be even more careful than she already is, but I don't want her to work too hard.

She's pushing her powers to the limit now. It seems like she can do something new everyday and while that's really great I can tell that it's draining her. Barbara has tried to get her slow down but Dinah isn't even listening to her and I know how much that's affecting Barbara now. They were getting so close then Dinah just…well she just kind of shut the door on all of us.

We had gotten so far. We had gotten so damn far and then Dinah just decides we've gone far enough without consulting any of us, without consulting me. She was the friend that I turned to when I needed to talk about what was going on in my life. I mean, sure I could still talk to Barbara but it wasn't the same because with Barbara we weren't on the same level. She was my mentor, she was the teacher and that's how it would always be.

With Dinah we were sort of equal. Sure I had more experience than her and my general knowledge of the whole superhero edge was broader but still…we were kind of equal. I trusted her. I still do trust her but I don't think she trusts me. She doesn't want to be near me anymore. She is always pulling herself away. She's built a nice wall up around herself to keep everyone and everything out and I don't know how to break it down.

I wonder if she'll ever figure out that she had sort of become my hero and now I was watching her fall. It's always hard to watch the hero fall.

"What are you thinking about?" Barbara asks as she joins me as I look up into the night sky.

"What do you think?"

She only nods her head. She knows what I'm thinking about because she's been thinking about the same thing. "She'll come around."

"You've been saying that for two weeks now and the only change I see is Dinah getting stronger and faster and pulling further away."

"If she goes on like she is then we'll confront her. I still have hope that she'll realize what's happening and will just come to us. She has in the past."

"I just want her back." I whisper softly.

"Yeah," Barbara sighs, "so do I."

That's when Dinah decides to join us. She knows we've been talking about her but she doesn't say anything about it. We stand there all together looking out at the city and up at the sky. There's a peace here. Even with Dinah's situation the peace remains.

Suddenly the Delphi alert goes off and Barbara and I turn to go back into the clock tower. Duty calls. Duty always seems to call. As we leave I can barely even hear Dinah whisper into the night, "I want to come back too." She then just turns and follows Barbara and me to the computers.

"It's Reese." Barbara says when we are both by her side.

I really don't want to deal with Reese right now. But what choice do I really have. "Fine, I'm on my way." I turn to Dinah. "Do you want to come with me?"

I can see that Barbara wants to object. She doesn't think Dinah is ready to hit the streets again, but I know that if I can just get Dinah to come with me…I make myself believe that if Dinah just comes with me then everything will be okay. I hope to make Barbara believe it too. For that matter, I hope to make Dinah believe it as well.

"So are you coming?" I ask again when I get no answer.

Dinah looks to Barbara for approval but Barbara just looks at her computer screens. I'm sure she thinks this has to be Dinah's decision.

"I'll go."

Thank God. She's going to go. "Well alright then get ready." Dinah smiles, the first real smile I've seen from her in a while, and runs up stairs to change.

"I hope that whatever you have planned works, Helena. I really do." Barbara tells me still focusing on her screens. She hides behind those screens sometimes.

"You're not the only one."

BOPBOPBOPBOP

Reese has another suspicious death so he gave me a call. That's all he really calls me for anymore. That's all I allow him to call me for. With Dinah acting like she has been I've been reacting by going further into my own little shell. It would seem that if Dinah isn't happy then I'm not happy. If Dinah hides away then I have to hide away too. That's kind of weird actually. I wonder why that is.

It isn't something I should be thinking about now though. I have a dead body in front of me and there's always work to do.

"So what can you tell us?" I ask Reese. He looks over at me then turns his gaze to Dinah. I get the feeling he kind of wished she wasn't here. For some reason, he always gets tense around her. I'm guessing it's from knowing that his father killed her mother, but that's really only my guess. I can see how that could breed awkwardness though.

"Well, from what the witness told us this guy was jumped by a lizard."

"Lizard?" Dinah steps closer and looks over the body.

"Yeah, some lizard apparently spit something at the guy and uh…my guess would be it was poisonous."

"So we're dealing with some poisonous lizard man?" I ask stepping closer to Dinah to look down at the body.

"Get a sample of the poison for me if you can," Oracle tells me. "If I can analyze I can probably come up with an antidote."

"Yes ma'am." I pull out a vial that I keep in my jacket, for just such an occasion and bend down over the body.

"What do you think you're doing?" Reese asks grabbing my arm. "We can't tamper with the scene."

"Oracle wants a sample so that she can find an antidote so that when one of us gets attack by this guy, which is inevitable and even more inevitable that it'll be you, we—meaning you—won't die." Wow Dinah's got some bite to her tonight. I kind of like it.

Reese looks at me like he's expecting me to say something to Dinah, but I'm not going to. Dinah's right. Of the three of us, Reese is the most likely to be attacked by this guy and not because he's going to be any more exposed to lizard man than we are, but just because he's well…he's not meta.

After a short staring contest Reese lets go of my arm and I proceed to take a sample of the poison that is on the man's skin. I take a closer look at our victim and I fail to come up with a name. I've never seen him before, which isn't too odd. I actually consider myself lucky if I recognize the dead person. That's sounds kind of strange maybe I should rephrase that. It's always a tragedy when I recognize the victim but at least we have something to go on if I know them. Usually, I know some place to start the investigation. There's no starting from scratch.

"Do you recognize him?" Dinah asks me after, I guess, I've been looking that the body for too long.

"No," I shake my head, "I've never seen him before."

"Well that's a good thing." She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back. I knew taking her out tonight would be a good thing, especially after what I heard her say at the clock tower. I know she wants to get back to how it used to be. Dinah's not the type to remain silent, stoic, and broody. That's kind of my job already.

"Are you done?" Reese calls from above us.

"Yeah," I tear my eyes from Dinah. "I've got what I needed." I hold up the vial for him to see then put it back in my coat safe and sound for Oracle to examine, test, manipulate, and do whatever else she deems fit. "We should probably be going now, though. Still need to protect the city from the scum and the miscreants."

I don't know why but this makes Dinah laugh. I'm happy she's laughing. "Uh yeah, but before you go," Reese tears by attention once again from Dinah, "can I talk to you alone."

I don't get a chance to answer. "Huntress go ahead. I'll just uh…start the sweep without you. I'm sure you can catch up. I know you've been keeping in shape." Dinah smiles then begins walking away from us. She joked with me. I missed that. I want to follow her now. I don't fully trust her to be alone, not because I don't trust her I just don't trust anyone else but Reese has already begun to talk and I really should be listening to him.

"…Know that you've distracted." He's looking at me like he's expecting an answer but it's always difficult to answer someone when you don't even know the question.

"I'm really sorry. I need to take care of Dinah now." I hope this answer satisfies his need for an answer. It seems to fit the words 'distraction'.

"When are you going to start taking care of yourself?"

Well it seems like my answer was the right one or at least it fit the question. "When she's better then I'll be fine. I'm sorry I've got to go now." And before he can say another word I'm gone.

It doesn't take me that long to locate Dinah. She's only a few blocks away and she's already kicking some poor soul's ass. I'm sure he deserved it though. Especially since there's two very frightened individuals standing back watching Dinah pound on their assailant.

Oh look there's another one. He's trying to sneak up behind her, but I'm there before he even comes close enough to throw one punch. I'm not going to let anyone ever hurt her again. I can't let her be hurt again.

The man goes flying into the side of a building and is knocked out. He's not going to be getting back up. I turn around and notice that Dinah is now asking the would-be victims if they're alright. The first time I saw her do that kind of surprised me. I always just figured the person didn't get robbed, maimed, or hurt in any way then they were okay and I could move on. If the person was hurt then I made sure there was an ambulance, but I never tried to help them out after I saved them.

If they were too scared then Dinah would actually walk them home. If they were just bleeding slightly then she'd actually tend to their wounds. She didn't just walk away. She got involved. She cared more than I ever even considered caring. I was often more concerned with letting my anger out on some guy who deserved an ass kicking.

"Is everything okay?" I can't help but ask.

"Yeah," Dinah answers for the pair of still wide-eyed and frightened girls. "You should really be more careful with who you choose to hang around." They both look at her then turn their eyes to me. I'm not too sure whether I should be offended or not.

Dinah smiles for what seems like the tenth time tonight and turns to look at me. "Oh she's harmless. Nothing but a big harmless kitten."

I raise my brow in response but choose not to make any comment. The girl does wonders for my reputation. I don't think the girls she's talking to believe Dinah though. At least they don't look like they do. But then again, I'm not too sure I'd find someone who jumped off a building and rammed a man into a wall entirely harmless either.

The girls thank us both once again and then go on with their lives, as everything should be. Dinah waves to them as they depart then turns her attention to me.

"Big harmless kitten, huh?" I ask stepping closer to her.

"Yep." She answers flippantly then turns her back to me and starts to walk away. I stand behind her in shock then shake my head and catch up to her. I don't know what's gotten into her tonight, but I am very happy to see that she at least seems to be less morbid than she has been lately. It's really unfortunate that I know this won't last. I've only offered her a quick fix. The only way things will get back to the way they are is if she actually starts talking to Barbara or myself.

"So what's on the agenda tonight?" She asks me as we walk languidly down the street.

"I was hoping we could talk?"

Her eyes instantly grow dark and I know I've ruined the night. I've ruined the chance for her and I to just get out and have fun. I've ruined our chance to forget, just for a little while that we have some pretty deep emotional problems that seem to cripple us every once and a while. But hey, I had to open my mouth. I just couldn't go on and let the night happen. Fuck me and caring.

"What do you want to talk about?"

Oh hey, she didn't shut me out completely. She's actually giving me hope that we can talk about something tonight. There are no promises but at least there's hope. I can live with hope. I can work with hope.

"I want to talk about what happened that night."

Dinah heaves a big sigh then throws her hand up in the air. "What's there to talk about? I was shot. I didn't die. It's over."

I just now notice we've stopped walking but for some reason I still feel like I'm moving. Maybe that's because my head is spinning. I'm so not in my element here. I'm good at hitting things. I'm not good at touchy feely conversations especially when my goal is to get someone else to talk about their feelings.

So okay where to start? What do I say first? "That night scared me too. I thought maybe you'd be gone forever and I really didn't like that thought at all." Honesty is always good, right?

"You were scared?"

"Hell yeah. I was fucking terrified. I don't want to lose you." I stumbled over my words. "You're the only real partner I've had and well…I don't want to lose you."

Is she crying? Did I say something wrong? Something right? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just standing here in the middle of the night trying my best to help save a person who means more to me than I think I ever realized. I'm trying to bring my best friend back.

"I don't want to die." She chokes out. "But I don't want you or Barbara to think I'm weak either."

"Dinah, I'd never think that. I think you're stronger than either of us. You put your life, heart, and soul on the line all the time. I can't do that. I really admire you so much for that. You're one of the strongest woman I've ever had the privilege of meeting."

"Really?" She's drying her tears with the back of hand and I can no longer hold back my urge to hold her. I need to comfort her. This is yet another thing I don't understand, but it's also something I'm not going to fight.

"You're my hero, Dinah." I whisper to her.

"You're my hero too," I hear Barbara say. I almost forgot that she could still hear us. I'm kind of glad she didn't miss out on this conversation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Birds of Prey is owned by the WB Network.**

The only thing I really wonder about, besides why there are so many stars in the sky, is if it's possible to have a romantic relationship without really having a romantic relationship with someone. Is it possible to act like someone's girlfriend and treat someone like a girlfriend without the physical aspect of the entire romantic relationship?

She doesn't go out with Reese anymore. She told me things weren't really working out because she couldn't give herself up to him or something like that. Actually, I think her exacts were, "He wants something from me that's not really mine to give away now." I'm not sure what I'm missing from that statement but I'm sure there's a clue in there somewhere. I guess I'll figure it out when I figure it out.

We've been hanging out more too. We go out have fun and get away from the whole superhero thing. When we're not together then I'm thinking or talking about her. It's kind of weird. Which is my whole point of wondering about having a romantic relationship without really having a romantic relationship.

When people at the bar she works with flirt with her I get jealous. Of course, it's not a secret that I am prone to jealousy but Helena is the exact same way. If a guy or girl approaches me she makes sure that they know I'm with her. My only real question is; am I with her or are we just really good friends? I know I'm not acting like her sister. At least I wouldn't imagine I'm acting like her sister.

I need help. I think I'm thinking too much. I even think that I'm thinking too much about thinking too much. Yes I am confused and I don't know what to do. So tonight I've actually promised myself to ask Helena what's going on. I'm going to go to her place of employment sit down at the bar stare at her for a few hours then when she gets off we'll do our sweeps, hang out, and maybe then I'll possibly ask her what's going on between us.

No. I have to be firm about this. I have to be committed to getting answers. Am I sure that I want answers? Well no. But I need to get answers. I can't continue going on acting like I'm Helena's girlfriend when I'm not. I either am or I'm not. We either make our relationship real or continue to pretend like we have one?

No. Firm. I have to be firm. Barbara's advice to me was just to talk to Helena. I tried to get her to do it, but she wouldn't. I think she said something about me acting like an adult. I'm not quite sure what she meant. The least she could have done was be more upfront with me. She was the one who sought me out to talk about what had been going on between Helena and me. She wanted answers and when I finally told gave her some or at least told her what I knew, she just kind of rubbed her head like she had a migraine and told me to figure things out before something happened.

Okay. So here I am. I just need to walk inside and remember to stay firm. Firm like steel. Firm like unbreakable things. Firm like Helena's body. Oh wait. I probably shouldn't be thinking that way right now.

"Hey," I say to her as I take a seat at the bar. The bouncer doesn't even ask me for my ID anymore when I come. He knows I'm Helena's friend and that I'm not here trying to drink underage.

"Hi," Her entire face lights up with her smile and all that firmness I've been talking about just falls away. I don't really need to know what's going on. I'm happy with the way things are. Am I still confused? Sure I am. But I'm often confused. I can deal with confusion as long as Helena doesn't ever decide to walk out of my life or go out with anyone else then I'm fine.

"How's it going tonight?" I'm genuinely interested. Helena usually has some kind of funny anecdote about the patrons of the bar. I've gotten to know the regulars pretty well.

She shrugs, "Nothing interesting is going on. It's actually been kind of a slow night considering it's Saturday."

"Do you think it's because of this lizard guy we still don't seem able to find?" I know this guys been in the back of her mind recently. This guy doesn't seem to have a motive for anyone he kills and he attacks randomly. The whole case is really frustrating.

"Could be," she picks up a glass and starts wiping it with the towel she had draped over her shoulder. "The news is saying there's some kind of serial killer out there just picking people at random and killing them."

"That does kind of seem what's happening." I offer.

Helena sighs. "Yeah it does. But I'm sure he has some kind of motive and we just haven't figured it out yet. There's a link we're missing."

"I know." And I really do know. I feel the exact same way. So does Barbara. "But if it can be found then we're going to find it."

"Yeah I know," she smiles at me and I know she doesn't want me to worry about it anymore. "So what's been going on with you? Did you do anything terribly interesting today?"

"Barbara and I trained for a little while but other than that nothing happened. Daniel called me again," I couldn't help but add. Daniel was a Meta that I met at some school assembly that Barbara dragged me to. He was a really nice guy and he seemed to be interesting but…well the but was standing right in front of me.

"Did he ask you out?" She tried to hide it but I could hear the soft growl that escaped from the back of her throat. Helena wasn't a big fan of Daniel's.

"Yeah he did."

"And?"

"Well I told him that I wasn't interested."

"Did he push anything?"

"No. He said he understood."

"Good." She says with a satisfied grunt.

I see an opportunity in front of me now and I'm afraid that if I don't take it then it'll float off to that special place where all those opportunities I've passed up go to. It's the place where they retire and come out every once in a while just to mock me.

"Why?"

Helena looks at me confused. "Why what?"

"Why is it good?"

She looks around. I think she's checking out the best escape route but I don't want her to be able to escape. I want an answer. I genuinely want to know why it's good I told a relatively handsome guy that I can't go out with him because I wasn't interested.

"Please Helena, just tell me why it's a good thing," I beg her with my eyes. I need to know.

She looks around once again then focuses on me. "I don't like the idea of sharing you."

Okay that could be a positive thing, a little possessive but still positive. "What does that mean exactly?" My palms are sweating and I'm surprised I haven't broken any of the bottles lying around this place yet. I am exercising excellent control.

"It means you're mine. You've got my heart and I can't take it back. You're mine."

Oh. Well that…I don't know what that is. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I should probably say something to her though. She just kind of told me that she loves me. I guess I should kind of return the gesture. "Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way then." Hey that actually sounded kind of cool calm and collected. "I'd hate to think that you had my heart when I didn't have yours."

She gives me an impossibly bright smile and I don't want to do anything else but kiss her. I have to kiss her. I have to do it now. I have to finally be able to get that feeling from deep down inside of me out. I'm actually contemplating jumping over the counter but I end up not having to because Helena does it first. She's standing in front of being leaning against my legs. I'm thankful that I'm sitting down because if I were standing then I'd most definitely be falling. As a matter of fact I wonder if I'm falling anyway.

"Does that mean you love me?" She asks leaning in closer.

"I guess it kind of does. But I think since I've always kind of loved you it's not that big of a revelation or possibly just the biggest one of my life."

Finally our lips meet and…it's great. It's perfect. It's…well it's really damn good. I can't think. I can't really do anything except feel. I feel her body pressed up against my own. I feel her taste her touch. I feel nothing but her.

I kind of feel like I've found a bit of myself too. I'm not as lost anymore and that's a wonderful, fantastic, terrific, and stupefying feeling. I didn't know that it'd be possible for me to feel at least partially complete as such a young age.

When we finally break apart I immediately look into her eyes. I need to know if what we shared really meant as much to her as it did to me. I want to share my feelings I want to share everything with her and I see she wants the same thing from me. She wants to solidify that connection we've had since before I ever came to this city.

We manage to tell each other that we love each other at the same time. Then we giggle. Then I start feeling kind of shy. I don't know what to do now. I want to kiss her again, I'd kind of like to kiss her forever, but I don't think me laying her out on the bar would be entirely appropriate. I haven't felt like this before. I can actually feel her inside of me. That piece of her very unique energy is stuck right in the pit of my stomach and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"So…" I'm not entirely in favor of silence right now. I need to hear her voice.

She clears her throat. "Yeah."

"What do we do now?" She's had to have experience in this area before. I haven't. Well more accurately I have, but I don't think that one really counts. I was just fifteen about to turn sixteen and Katie was just my last ditch effort to be happy in a place where I knew I didn't belong.

"I say we do more of this," Helena breaks me from my thoughts and fear. Her lips are pressed to mine again but for way too short of a time. "But other than that I don't know. I'm not an expert here."

"So we just continue to be together?" I ask unable to resist the urge any longer to wrap my arms around her waist and bring her even closer to me.

"That's all I want."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Hey Helena are you going to start working again sometime tonight or should I just get my own drink? Oh and I'd like to have the same exact service as she's having." Jared, a regular calls out to her.

For the first time Helena breaks eye contact with me and responds to the restless man, "You wish." She turns her attention back to me. "Are you going to stay the whole night?"

"I planned on it. I don't want to do sweeps alone."

Helena smiles then jumps back over the counter. I don't remember the last time we actually did sweeps apart. We were partners now and partners don't work alone. It was against the superhero rules or something. She begins filling the drink requests that surround her and I sit back and watch.

Barbara then interrupts my own form of entertainment when her voice trickles with my haze and straight into my ear. "Canary you there?"

My best guess is that this isn't just a friendly call. "Yeah?"

"You need to go out and meet Reece. He's got another body."

"The lizard guy?"

"Yes," Barbara sounds just about the same way I feel: frustrated and defeated.

"Damn."

"Just do the regular tests and bring them back here. Maybe this time we'll find something different." Barbara then proceeds to tell me where to me Reece and wishes me good luck. I can tell that she's trying to give me some hope that this guy hasn't beaten us yet, and I know he hasn't. Well stop him. I know we will. I just want anyone else to die.

I turn to Helena and she's looking over at me knowing that I've been called away. "Do you need me to go with you?"

I want her to but I know that she has to work. Plus, it's just Reece and another poisoned body. I can handle that. So, I shake my head. "No. I can take care of it. Reece has another one."

Helena hesitates but I lean over the bar and put my fingers to her very soft lips. "I can take care of it."

We have a short staring contest but Helena eventually backs off. "Fine but be careful and don't let Reece push you around."

"I'll be careful and I won't let Reece push me around." I promise. "I'm just going to get some more samples anyway. I don't think anything's going to happen." I lean forward and give her a quick kiss. "I've got to go. Be good." I smile and let my eyes linger just a little too long then turn around and make my way to Detective Reece so go look at another dead body. There are certainly some downsides to being a superhero.

BOPBOPBOPBOP

Detective Reece is keeping watch over the body when I approach him. He looks surprised to see me and I can understand why since Helena is usually the one that meets up with him. Every time we get together there's awkwardness. I think it's mostly because I was insanely jealous of him for a while and because of his father. Plus, I don't really think we work too well together. Sure, he's watched my back and I've watched his but there's just not that thing. It's the thing that makes Helena and I such good partners. We have the thing. With Reese and me there's no thing.

"Hey," I say kind of shyly and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. It's a nervous gesture that I keep on promising myself I'll get rid of eventually.

"Uh…hi." He's such an articulate man. I can see what Helena saw in him. Of course what she saw in him really doesn't matter now because she's not with him. She's with me. I wonder if now is a good time to fill him in on the news. "Where's Helena?" He looks behind me like he just expects her to pop out from nowhere, which is possible, but it's not going to happen.

"Busy." I look down at the body. "Anything different about this one?"

"No." Reece sighs heavily. He's probably just as frustrated as the rest of us about this. "Everything is the same. Same poison, same everything."

I lean down and take yet another sample for Barbara to analyze. "Maybe something will turn up this time though."

"Has Oracle found out anything?"

I shake my head. "We're just as lost as you are." I turn to look at him and catch a movement in the corner of my eye. When I do a very quick double take I can barely see a shadow cast by the street lamp. As soon as whatever it is knows that I can see it, it turns around and begins to run. I hurriedly shove the sample I've just taken into my jacket and take off after the shadow.

I can still barely see them in the night. Whatever it is is incredibly fast. I hear Reese calling me from behind but I keep on running. If I can just catch up with whoever this is maybe this will all end or maybe we'll actually get somewhere. Right when I think I've actually gained some ground on the figure it disappears. I'm left standing in an alley alone.

There's a slight rustling sound to my left. I turn and am not surprised when I see nothing. It's weird but I can actually feel something here. I know it's around me, but I can't pinpoint where it is. Reese has finally caught up with me and is gasping for air while he tries to ask me what I'm doing.

There it is behind him. I think it's trying to get away. Oh wait it's not. My eyes go wide when I realize it's going to go after Reese. "Get out of the way!" I yell at him and make a desperate dive to move him away from the figure behind and slightly behind him.

As I reach Reese I see some liquid being shot at us both. I do my best to twist us both away from the spray. We hit the ground hard and I know I'm going to have a few bruises that will only feel better once Helena kisses them away. When I get a chance to look up I move my head frantically searching the dark figure that I never really could see, but unfortunately now I can.

She's looking straight down at us and her eyes are red and have an odd reptilian shape. Reece is trying to push me away from me but I resist. I'm afraid if I move then she'll do something like try and spit nasty poison at me again. I am beginning to think that it probably would have been a good idea to listen to Barbara when she told me to pick up the antidote she had made for the poison on my way out.

"Dinah get off me," Reese tries to order me.

"Shut up." I tell him but keep my eyes trained on the woman above us.

She smiles at me and reaches out her hand. This may sound crazy, but I don't trust her. I don't want to offend her by not taking her hand though so I take her hand hoping that my skin doesn't start burning and that I don't start dying. To my surprise nothing happens. And I really mean nothing happens. I don't even get any type of vision from her. Nothing.

"I have no quarrels with you," she informs me. "If you had not cornered me then I wouldn't have attacked you."

Oh yes well that makes me feel so much better. "But you've killed all those people."

"It was necessary."

"Necessary?" Reese and I ask at the same time.

"I'm going to have to put you under arrest," Reese says and even I know that's certainly not the best thing he could have said at a time such as this.

The woman does nothing but laugh.

"Why did you do it?" I ask instead ignoring Reese's hurt pride.

"It was necessary." She repeats.

"Canary?" Barbara's voice filters through my comm. set. "Is everything okay?"

I don't know how I should respond to that right now, so I don't.

"If you let me go then I'll let you live."

"We can't do that," I tell her knowing that she probably already knew what I'd say.

"Fine." She shrugs and her skin becomes darker. It's quite interesting really. She doesn't really change to blend in with her surroundings; she just kind of gets darker. I'm sure this isn't a good thing, but it's still interesting.

I get into a fighting stance, hoping that she doesn't decide to spit anymore poison at me. We circle each other and Reese moves off to the side. His hand moves to his gun and he begins to pull it out slowly but this reptilian woman sees him and quickly spits some more of her very special saliva in his direction. This time, she actually hits him but his distraction gives me a chance to concentrate hard enough on throwing the woman into a wall. I've been becoming quite good at that lately.

"Oracle," I scream into my comm. set. "Reese got hit with the poison. I need the antidote and an ambulance."

"Are you okay?" She asks and I can tell she's worried. "What happened?"

"Our lizard guy is actually a lizard girl. She's knocked out for the moment, but I think she might be waking up soon." I can actually already begin to see her stirring. "Get Huntress here quick."

I turn away from Reese and look around desperately trying to find something I can use to cover this woman's mouth. During my search I fail to notice that she has already recovered. For some reason, I don't fully understand, she doesn't try to kill me with her poison she just kicks me in the back and starts to run off. I know I should chase after her, but I don't want to leave Reese alone. Damn it.

"Oracle where's Huntress?"

"She's on her way. So is the ambulance. Is everything okay?"

"No. She got away."

Moments later Helena is by my side over Reese with the antidote. She follows Barbara's instructions on how to give it to Reese, which really isn't that difficult. It mostly just consists of stick needle in arm and push down. The ambulance arrives and Reese is on his away to the hospital. He'll most likely live.

Helena and I watch the ambulance pull away. She's standing next to me and her arm is wrapped around my waist. "Are you okay?" She asks as we stare at the fading red and white lights.

"I let her get away."

"You did fine. So what she got away. At least you're alive and Reese isn't going to die. Plus, now we know who our mystery lizard is."

"When did you become so optimistic?" I turn in her arms so that I'm no longer facing the street but facing her.

She smirks. "I don't know."

There's silence now and I'm just happy to be in Helena's arms. I'm safe in them and after thinking that I was going to die for a while earlier I'm happy that she's here.

"So are you ready to go see how Reese is doing?" Helena asks me.

I know we should go to the hospital. He is kind of our semi-partner. "Yeah."

"Be careful out there tonight ladies," Oracle calls to us through the comm. set. "Remember that woman is still loose. And tell Reese that I hope he starts to feel better. I'll be checking up on the city while you're there."

With Oracle watching out for us from above we begin to make our way to the hospital. I think it's going to be a long night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Birds of Prey is owned by the WB Network**

My fingers are all taken up now. I don't mean that in some hot freaky sex way either. I mean that I've been terrified so many times now in my life that I have no more fingers left over. There's when my mom died. There's when Barbara took me in. There's when Dinah came and changed my entire world, then when Dinah got shot, then when I admitted to Dinah that she was my hero, then when Dinah told me she loved me, then when I kissed Dinah, then the moment after I kissed Dinah, then when Barbara contacted me and told me Dinah was in need of assistance because of the lizard lady, then when I actually arrived which seemed like it took days to do and found her leaning over Reese's body, then the moment after the ambulance left because I didn't know what to say or how she felt or what to do.

I've actually run out of fingers. I'll have to start counting on my toes or something. I've officially gone crazy now. I don't know what to do. My world is spinning in all kinds of directions and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.

I mean what I am doing is illegal, isn't it? Dinah is still only seventeen. Of course she'll be eighteen pretty soon so that really isn't that big of a problem. All I have to do is have no sexual relations with her until she's of legal age. I can do that. I have self-control. I can play the part of Clinton. Oh wait…Clinton actually did have sexual relations didn't he? Well then I can be better than Clinton. I'll do a better job of hiding it?

Okay I really can't think this way. I have to be stoic and not let my lust consume me. I'm not really an animal, despite what some of my previous uh…acquaintances might say. I wonder if Dinah would like me to be an animal with her though. Does she expect it from me? I know there's a side of her that is just as feral as I can be. She doesn't show it often but when she does…

I was supposed to be talking myself into no sexual relations wasn't I? What am I trying to do to myself? Commit suicide by heat exhaustion.

"What are you thinking about?" Dinah asks me as she walks to the fridge. "You kind of looked like you were having some uh…serious thoughts." She turns around with a carton of orange juice in her hand and a knowing smirk on her face.

Yeah I was having serious thoughts of…I don't even think I should finish that thought in my head. "I was thinking about that you should be at school. You do have school today right?"

"Uh huh." She nods. "I'm waiting for Barbara to finish getting ready and that's so not what you were thinking about."

"Well," I chuckle, "I was thinking about you."

I wasn't quite aware of the fact that she could blush like that. That's a very endearing shade of red. I wonder if she turns that same shade of red when she…no. No. I'm not supposed to think about that. I'm the adult in this relationship. I need to be the responsible one. Wait. When the hell have I ever been the responsible one? I'm never the responsible one. I'm the one that goes out and does whatever the hell she wants then faces the consequences later or just ignores the consequences altogether.

Now however, now I think everything is different. My life is changing and I'm changing and my world is spinning and I'm just along for the ride. I actually think Barbara would call this progress. Speaking of…

"Have you two finished with your morning flirting session or should I just come back in a couple of minutes?"

"Oh was that a joke from the ever serious Barbara Gordon?" I ask trying to hide the fact that her hearing Dinah and me makes me slightly uncomfortable. I haven't really gotten a chance to discuss the entire Dinah and me thing with her yet, so I really don't know what she thinks and I really need to know what she thinks.

"I'm capable of grasping the concept of humor every once and a while," She responds quickly. Despite what some people might think, Barbara can hold her own very well. I don't often like getting in a verbal spar with her because she wins most of the time and I'm not a big fan of losing. It does bad things to my complexion.

"Well then…" Damn it. I'm sure I'll think of the perfect thing to say when she walks out the door. What's Dinah laughing about? I'm sure she couldn't think of anything either.

"Are you ready to go?" Dinah asks. "I don't want you using up all your grasping power of humor this morning. You'll get a chance to recharge at school."

Barbara just shakes her head turns herself around and goes towards the elevator. Dinah follows but before she leaves she bends down and gives me a quick peck on the lips. I want her touch to linger longer but if it did I'm not too sure she'd make it to school and school is important. At least, it's important to Dinah. She actually cares about her future. She cares a lot more about hers than I did when I was in school.

"I'll see you when I get home," She calls out to me. "I love you."

I take a quick look at Barbara to see how she responds to the endearment and I see nothing but an indulgent smile covering her features. Maybe she could actually possibly maybe support what's happening between Dinah and me or maybe she just doesn't want to say anything now and is waiting to get me in a room alone to beat me up. Still, I can't have my girl thinking that I don't love her too no matter what Barbara thinks.

"I love you too. Be safe."

And then they're gone. They're off to play the roles of the daytime Barbara and Dinah and I'm left to sit around here and…well and go back to bed. It's way too damn early for me to even be up. Why am I up anyway?

Oh yeah. I'm up because I wanted to see Dinah off to school. I wanted to get a chance to see her before she had to go out into the daylight. I needed to hear her say she loved me and I needed to tell her in return.

What the hell has this girl done to me?

BOPBOPBOPBOP

Okay so Dinah doesn't come home for another couple of hours I guess I could waste my time by going to see Reese again in the hospital. He's had a hard time with recovery. Apparently the poison he was exposed to attacked his nervous system and it's been taking a few days for him to get the feeling back in his body. If I hadn't given him the antidote when I did it's quite possible that he would never be able to walk again.

This may sound harsh, but I'm very glad that he was the one that got hit with that poison instead of Dinah. I never want her to go through that kind of pain. I wouldn't wish it on Reese either, of course but if I had to make a choice…Reese would lose every time. He has lost every time already.

I gave my heart to Dinah, actually I think she took it without me realizing it and by the time I realized she had it I didn't really mind. She also made me her partner in the whole crime-fighting scene. Reese and I get along. We work well together but I would never call him my partner. Everything that he could have gotten from me, that he probably would have gotten from me if Dinah wasn't here, he's never going to get. The only reason I tried to get something to happen before was because I felt like I wanted something more in my life and I thought Reese would be a good place to start, and he probably was a good place to start. He was just a practice run until the real thing came along or at least until I realized that the real thing was standing right in front of me.

Through the window of the hospital door I can see Reese lying down. I'm not quite sure how much movement he has recovered but Barbara thinks it'll all come back eventually. This has to be hard on him. I know I'd go crazy just sitting around waiting to be able to get back up. Plus, Reese really doesn't have anyone. His mother came by a few times and a couple of his cop buddies, but he really doesn't have anyone by his side to stay with him through the night.

I know that at least if this had happened to me, Dinah and Barbara would be in that room with me until I got up again. They'd stay and take all the shit I'd throw that them through my frustration. Of course, they'd probably throw some shit back at me. They wouldn't give me that much leeway in pushing them around and pushing them away.

Slowly I open the door to the hospital room. Reese turns to me and grins. He doesn't want to show anyone how much he's hurting yet. I know that he doesn't ever want to show me that he can be weak. He's always had this macho man complex ever since we've met. I've always just accepted it and let him act however the hell he wants. Eventually he'll learn that I won't judge him just because he's human and is capable of feeling pain.

"So how are…thing?" I ask him as I approach the bed. "You ready to get back out on the streets yet?"

"I was ready three days ago," He answers with a soft smile.

"Can you walk yet?"

"I've upgraded to a hobble."

I shake my head but can't stop the smirk that comes to cover my face. "I guess that's progress."

Silence falls between us, but that's mostly because I don't have anything else to say and whatever it is he wants to ask me he doesn't have the courage to ask. I know he's wanted to say something to me the past few days, but he hasn't done it yet. I've given him chances but he doesn't take them.

"So…" he begins, "what's Canary and Oracle up to?"

I don't know why he insists on calling Dinah Canary still. He knows her name. They've been introduced properly. I mean, with Barbara it's different. She's still Oracle to him. That's all she's ever been to him and most likely that's all she'll ever be to him. It may not seem like it purely on the surface but Barbara is ten times more guarded than I am.

"They're fine I guess." I shrug. "Just living out their daily lives."

"And what would that be?"

I grin. "A daytime school teacher and student."

He snorts. "Fine don't tell me. It's not that important."

Silence comes again and I'm contemplating leaving. He looks alive and well, which is all I wanted to check up on.

"Okay so I'm going to leave," I say pointing to the door. "If you need anything you know which button to press." I turn to walk out the door but Reese reaches out and grabs my arm. I turn around slowly with my brow raised waiting for him to give me a reason for why he doesn't want me leaving.

"I think it's time I tell you thank you for saving my life," he eventually says. "If you hadn't of came with the antidote…well things would have turned out a whole hell of a lot worse than they did."

"You don't need to thank me," I tell him. "Dinah's the one who got me there. She's the one who pushed you down when that woman was going to attack you. I didn't do anything but show up, Dinah did the heroic stuff." I'm going to give credit where credit is due.

"Yeah, but you were still there." He argues. "You showed up and you've been here for me ever since. That means a lot to me."

Are we about to have a moment? I really don't want to have a moment with him. Not now. "Well…it's kind of what I do. If it makes you feel any better than I'm glad you're not dead."

"Truthfully?" He grins. "It doesn't completely suck to know."

Then again there is silence. I don't know what to say at this point. I'm ready to leave. Dinah will be back home soon and I want to be there when she arrives.

"Do you ever think that we could try again?"

Why? Why does he have to bring this up? Can't he be satisfied in knowing that I don't want him dead? Despite what some people may think I do not like kicking people when they're down. Unless, of course, they've been especially naughty.

"Reese," His eyes go dark immediately and I can see he's withdrawing. "I think you're a nice guy, I really do but it's not going to happen."

"Is there someone else or is it just me? Do you blame me for who my father is?"

Okay where the hell did that come from? When was the last time I ever said anything to him about his father?

"Of course that isn't it." Seriously where did he come up with that? "I don't blame you for your father's mistakes. I'm the last person that can go blaming people for what they're parents have done."

He raises his brow. "Then there's someone else?"

"Can't it just be that I don't think we'd work out?"

"But I think we would."

I drop my head. I don't want to look into his eyes anymore. "Reese. There's someone else."

"Are you just lying to me now to get me to back off?" He sounds like he's getting angry.

"I wouldn't…"

"Lie?" He finishes for me. "Of course you would. You're so concerned with keeping your secrets and not letting anyone in that you don't even think twice about lying. Are you honest with anyone?"

If he had told me this a couple of months ago then I probably would have agreed with him, but now he's just wrong. He's so wrong that it's not even funny how wrong he is. Plus who is he to say something like that to me? So we went out a few times that doesn't mean he knows me. He doesn't know me. He'll never know me.

I'm going to respond but Dinah comes into the room carrying a teddy bear. She stops in the doorway when she realizes that I'm in the room. She looks from me to Reese and I'm sure she can feel the tension that surrounds us.

"Did I come at a bad time?" She asks as she slowly begins to back out of the room. "I can always come back later."

"No it's fine." I tell her. I don't want to be left alone with Reese any longer. He can believe whatever he wants. I have nothing to prove to him. The only people I owe explanations or answers to are Dinah and Barbara.

"Are you sure?" She asks uncertainly. "I don't want to interrupt."

"Dinah it's fine. Come in." Reese calls from the bed. "Helena and I were just discussing your daytime activities. She refuses to tell me what you do all day."

Dinah smiles awkwardly then takes a good look at herself. She's wearing her backpack still and along with the teddy bear in her arms she has what appears to be a textbook. Maybe Reese isn't as good as a detective as any of us thought. "Yeah well secret identity and all." She finally says and approaches the bed. She holds the bear out to Reese which he takes clumsily. His motor functions aren't quite where they normally are. "So are you feeling better?"

"Like I told Helena, I've got a good hobbling going on."

Dinah chuckles politely. "Well that's good." She places her hand on his shoulder. "I'm really glad you're making progress. We need you well."

I know she still feels guilty about what has happened to him. That's something that I'll probably never be able to take away from her. She'll have to work it out on her own. Hopefully one day she'll understand that we can't save everyone all the time. We both may be superheroes but we're not God. Hopefully, one day I'll understand that too. We can actually work on it together.

"Yeah," Reese clears his throat. "Thanks for the bear."

"It's nothing."

Well I certainly need to get out of this room now. "So get to feeling better soon. Dinah's right, we do kind of need you well."

Reese nods. "I will."

"You ready to go?" I ask turning to Dinah. I know that she has to be as uncomfortable as I am.

"Yeah." She grabs my hand. "We'll be back tonight after sweeps," she tells Reese then pulls me out of the room.

My eyes connect with Reese's before I make it out of the room and I'm not too sure what to make of the look he's giving me. He may think that we have something else to talk about, but we don't. I've said my part. He either accepts it or he doesn't.

"I didn't really expect to see you here." Dinah says as soon as the door to the room is closed. She almost sounds kind of jealous.

"I figured I'd check up on him. He's going through a tough time and I know he could use some friends." I want to cross my arms in front of me to emphasis my next point but I don't want to let go of Dinah's hand so as a compromise I pull her closer to me. "What are you doing here?"

She holds my gaze then turns her eyes to floor or more accurately my cleavage. "The same as you."

With my free hand I grab her chin and gently force her to look into my eyes again. "I told him there's someone else. He doesn't believe me, but it doesn't matter. I don't love him."

She unexpectedly pulls me to her in a tight hug. "I know I'm being stupid, but I can't help it," she whispers into my ear.

When she pulls back I kiss her tenderly. "No you're not. You're being concerned even though you don't have a reason to be."

"You mean stupid?" She asks with her brow raised.

"Concerned."

"Stupid?"

"Concerned."

"Stu…" Before she can finish I lean in and kiss her. It's a good way to get her to be quiet and an equally good way to let her know I love her.

As I pull away I whisper softly, "Concerned."

She nods. "Concerned," then leans in and kisses me again. When we break apart that when I realize that we're still standing in the hospital right in front of Reese's door. Right in front of the door that has a window that I used to look in on Reese with when I first arrived. I turn to the window now and see Reese staring at us.

"Shit," I drop my gaze away.

"What?"

I just nod my head in the direction of the window. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Do you think we should go back inside?" She asks unsure.

I shake my head. "No. I told him there was someone else."

"And Reese and I got along so splendidly before," Dinah falls into me and puts her head on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. He would have found out eventually."

"Yeah," she sighs. "So can we go home now?"

"Of course," I put my arm around her shoulders and guide her towards the exit of the hospital. I feel bad for Reese but…I don't love him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Birds of Prey is owned by the WB Network**

The only thing I wish for all my students is happiness. The same holds true for Dinah and Helena. I only wish them happiness. I can take them only so far they have to take those big leaps in life alone. Well, in their case they've decided to take the big leaps alone together.

I know Helena wants to ask me about how I feel about her relationship with Dinah. I think she ultimately wants approval from me, and it's terribly difficult for me to admit this, but I won't give it. It's not that I don't support their relationship, because I've seen the changes come over them both and I know that they have all been positive, but I want Helena to not want my approval about this. I want her to break away and take her stand and remain strong on this one thing that I hope and wish she will fight for. I want her to look at the relationship she has with Dinah and not care what I think. I only want her to care about her own happiness.

I support this change in her life. I've supported most changes in her life. How could I not? When I see how far she has come I am left in awe. I know that I can't take away the pain that her mother's death has caused her-- that was never my purpose in her life-- my part was to only help guide her through the tough times and keep her alive until someone who could open her heart up again came along.

I know my place in her life and that has only ever been her mentor and friend. I love her. I love her just like I've grown to love Dinah. These two young ladies are my family and I love my family. I will do whatever is within my power to keep them safe and give them some form of happiness.

I'm the big bad Oracle and my job is to keep them safe. Helena just thinks I'm on a superhero, altruistic high that I just do the crime fighting because it's the right thing to do, and that is kind of true. It's also true that I do what I do for very selfish reasons. Of course I want to keep the city self but I also want to take all those bastards who decide to ruin peoples lives off the street so that my family will be safe.

It probably sounds weird especially since I send my family out every night. I put my girls in danger knowingly. I understand something about reality though, that I'm not too sure everyone gets. Locking Helena and Dinah away in a room doesn't guarantee them a long and happy life. It guarantees them nothing and it guarantees me nothing, but by getting them out there and fighting for their own happiness…that will get them somewhere. Even if they get hurt-- and I always feel guilty when they get hurt-- I'll have given them something to hold onto in their lives. They'll be able to sit back and say that they did something in this world to gain their happiness. They chased their own dreams and conquered them.

I wish I could still be out there standing with them conquering all our dreams, but I am Oracle now. I see all and know all. I am supposed to know the past, present and future and amazingly enough I actually do. I know my own past. I know my own present and I know that the future will be a better place because Huntress and Canary wish it so.

"Uh…Barbara?" Helena calls from my doorway. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course," I take my attention away from the papers I'm supposed to be grading and give it to her. "What do you need? And where's Dinah?"

"A friend called for her and they went out," she points in the general direction of where 'out' might be. "I'm meeting up with her later for sweeps. I kind of wanted to talk to you."

She's nervous and I already know what this conversation is going to be about. She's finally gathered her courage and is ready to accept whatever it is I say to her. I know she'd eventually come around.

"So what do you want to talk about? Are you still worried about our mystery lizard lady?" Ever since Dinah's encounter with our reptilian foe Helena has been kind of on edge. We all have been actually. No more deaths have occurred, but she's still out there so we still are going to have to find her.

Helena crosses her arms in front of her. She's hugging herself. "Well yeah that still does kind of bother me but I know we'll get her eventually. I mean you're working on it, right? So it's all good."

I smirk and nod. "Yeah sure. So what is it you wanted to talk about?"

"Dinah?"

"Is that a question?"

She shakes her head so fast I'm afraid it might fall off. "No…no not at all. I want to talk about Dinah, Dinah and me actually. Well really about Dinah and me and you."

"I'm not into that sort of thing," I try to lighten the mood. "And I love you both dearly but you're just not my type."

Helena looks at me confused then that confusion turns to surprise then finally I get that grin I was after. "I'm not too good at sharing."

"Well I don't want you to share." We smile at each other and the cloud of tension that Helena brought in the room with her fades a little. "So what about you and Dinah…and me?"

She sighs then throws her hands up in the air as if she has made some great decision, which she probably has. "Do you care about it?"

"Do I care?"

"Yeah do you care? Do you have a problem with it? You for it? Against it? What?"

"Are you happy?"

"Yeah…?" She answers uncertainly.

"Is Dinah happy?"

"As far as I know. I hope she is."

"Then tell me Helena, what does it matter what I think?"

"Because you're you. It matters."

"If I said I didn't approve would you love Dinah any less?"

She shakes her head.

"If I said that I don't want you ever seeing her again, would you listen?"

She shakes her head again.

"Then what does it matter?"

She drops her shoulders defeated. "I don't know. It doesn't change anything but you…well you're really damn important to Dinah and me and we want you to support us."

"Dinah already knows how I feel." And she does. We've never talked about it but I know she knows.

Helena stares at me for a while then finally just decides to provoke more of an answer out of me. "And how you feel is…"

I look at my lap for a moment gathering my thoughts then capture her gaze again. "I feel that you deserve happiness and I'm very happy that you've found it."

"So is that your way of saying that you approve?"

"Well I don't necessarily disapprove," Helena smiles and is about to say something but I hold out my hand to forestall her speech, "But I want you to understand that Dinah is young and you both don't have a lot of experience so be careful with each other. And I also would like you to understand that when you're out being Canary and Huntress you can't let personal feelings get in the way," those are easier words to say than they are to live by, "you should also know that your relationship with Dinah may not last, but your partnership has to."

Helena's face falls and she gets that introspective look on her face that comes along when she really has to think about something. I know she's been living in the haze of new love and I don't want to bring her out of it so soon, but she needs to know.

"But I love her." She sounds like she's pleading with me to tell her that this fairy tale love story she has will last until the world ends, but I can't do that. I wish that for her. I wish that for them both, but I can't do that.

"Life isn't like the songs, Helena. Love's important. Loving her is very important and it'll get you a long way, but you need more than love. You need commitment, honesty, openness, trust…Helena you just need a lot of things to make sure that this lasts. Ultimately, love can only take you so far. You and Dinah can only get to happily ever after if that's what you truly desire and are willing to work for, because Helena it won't be easy. You both lead dangerous lives. Dinah is growing up and soon she might want to go away to school. There are just so many things that you'll have to work around and work through."

"But I love her." She tells me again with more steel in her voice. "I love her and I'm not going to let go and I won't let her let go either. We're going to be together because that's just the way it has to be. Even if something happens…" Her voice trails off and she looks away, "If something happens to her then we'll always be together. So I don't care what you say and I know it'll be hard. When hasn't it been? No matter what we'll make it."

I look at her and I expect her to turn away from me but she doesn't. She doesn't back down. "In that case then I fully support your relationship with Dinah."

"Well good then."

We continue to stare at each other again. Her body is tense and I think she's in need of release. She's been tense ever since she's entered this room and our conversation had done nothing to ease up her disposition. I don't know what else I should tell her. She's in her relationship with Dinah for all the right reasons and there's no circumstance in which I would not support them. They will always have my support.

The Delphi alert sounds and I can only hope that this will be Helena's chance to get some of her stress out. We're all in need of some relief right now. The week has been…if nothing else complicated.

Helena and I make our way to Oracle's work area. I check out the alarm and see that this time it's Dinah searching for me instead of Reese. I'd be surprised if it were Reese though; he's still in the hospital.

"Canary you need something?" I ask calmly. I know Helena is already worried even though she hasn't said anything aloud yet.

"You could say that," Dinah's voice filters into the room.

"Well…?"

"I seem to be having a slight problem." She responds. "I'm uh…well…I'm stuck."

"Stuck?" Helena and I ask together.

"Yes I'm stuck."

"Stuck where?" Helena and I ask in sync once again.

"A window." She responds softly. "At a bar."

"A window?" Helena and I say together once again except this time I give her a look to that clearly conveys my need for her to remain silent.

"Okay Dinah." I sigh softly. "Exactly what window at what bar are you stuck in and why are you stuck in a window?"

"Does it really matter? Can't you just send Helena over here and get her to get me off. I'm at that bar that's down the street from Gibson's."

"You want me to send Helena over to get you off?" I ask not even trying to hide the smirk that come over my face.

"Yes. I'm very uncomfortable and…Oracle this is so not the time to be making jokes." I turn to Helena and she nods her head and is gone within seconds.

"Helena is on her way." I tell her and can easily hear the sigh of relief Dinah gives. "So do you want to tell me how you got stuck in the window? You've got a good five minutes until Helena gets there."

"I was trying to escape through the bathroom window." She answers as if it should be blatantly obvious to me.

"Oh…so why are you trying to escape?"

"Because that guy's not taking no for an answer."

"What guy?"

"The guy that Amber's trying to hook me up with."

I guess we're going to have to play twenty questions. "Who's Amber and why is she trying to hook you up with a guy and why don't you just tell her you're with someone else?"

"Amber's that girl from school who's in my English class. You've met her. And I have told her I'm with someone else but she says I need to explore all my horizons."

"Okay. So why did you agree to meet with her tonight if you knew that she was trying to hook you up with someone?"

"I didn't know."

"So when you figured out that she was hooking you up with someone else why didn't you just leave."

She's silent for a long time then eventually sighs. "That probably would have been a better thing to do then trying to escape through the bathroom window."

"Yes it would have been."

"I don't need you yelling at me, once Helena gets here I'm sure I'll be hearing enough from her."

"Fine. You won't hear anything else from me about trying to run away from your friends by going out a bathroom window. But I do have another question for you."

I know she's thinking about telling me that I can't ask it, but she's not that brave yet. "What?" She snaps.

"What the hell are you doing in a bar?"

"Oh hey Helena's here now, I think I should probably go." She switches off her comm. set and I curse the day when Helena taught her how to do that. Fortunately however, Helena still has her set on and I can still what's going on. I choose to remain silent so that Helena doesn't turn off hers as well. It really doesn't matter what they say though, Dinah is still going to be grounded.

"Damn, how'd you ever get in that position?" I hear Helena ask.

I can only catch the last part of Dinah's answer which sounds a little something like, "talent to bend this way."

To which Helena replies, "How do you know I can't?"

I really don't want to listen in on this. "Helena just get her the hell out of there and back here."

"Fine. We'll be back in a few." Then Helena shuts me out too. I should really give them new comm. sets that can't be turned off. That would probably solve the problem I have of them shutting me out. I don't like them shutting me out.

Yeah I'm going to give them some new comm. sets. They better be back here within the hour. Dinah needs to be talked to about going out to bars and turning off her comm. set. I can still at least try to control her bad habits. She may be in a relationship with Helena but I refuse to let her assimilate all of Helena's bad habits. She's supposed to be the good one. She's supposed to make Helena more responsible. She's the good influence. It's really not supposed to be the other way around. I don't know if I could handle two Helena's.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimers: Birds Of Prey is owned by the WB Network**

Once. It only happened once and now I'm here while Helena's out there actually having fun. Wasn't it punishment enough that I got stuck in a damn window? I mean, I just don't think Barbara understands the complete humiliation I had to suffer through because of that. Has she ever been stuck in a window? I don't think so. No. Perfect Barbara Gordon wouldn't do something like that. She's the one that thinks of everything ahead of time and doesn't make a single mistake.

And how does she choose to punish me? I'm not allowed to do sweeps. I have sit up here in this place and watch what's happening below without being able to do a damn thing. Of course, she tells me that she wants me to learn a little something about what she does up here but I don't see why I need to know. She runs this place just fine. I want to be out there doing something. I want to be with Helena.

I wonder what she's doing right now, probably fighting off some bully and rescuing the damsel in distress. She's good at that sort of thing. She just swoops down in all her leathery glory and kicks the bad guys ass without even breaking a sweat. Then she'll usually turn around look straight into the eyes of who's she's rescuing inquire if they're okay and then…then she just disappears. If I were out there with her I'd be right by her side and we'd both disappear into the night then we'd take a break and she'd buy me ice cream. Of all things she'd buy me ice cream. The first time she did it really surprised me, I didn't expect that from her. It was kind of romantic actually.

Then we'd finish walking the streets and rooftops while checking in with Oracle every once in a while. She'd tell us if we were needed somewhere else or if we needed to investigate anything else. Sometimes she'd just tell us to come home and we'd return to the clock tower laughing, not because anything particularly funny happened but just because we're both happy to be back.

We understand what we risk by going out every night. We know what could happen, so when we return and know Barbara is waiting for us patiently it makes us playful, although we're normally playful. All of us are, even Barbara.

If the night were a particularly slow one then we'd all sit down and discuss our days outside of the night we just shared. Even if the night was particularly difficult for some reason we'd still sit back and talk, except we'd talk about what happened and if one of us wasn't ready to talk yet then we'd just sit around and be with each other…always happy that we could be together at the end of the night.

"Dinah are you paying any attention to me at all?" Barbara asks in what sounds like a slightly frustrated tone.

"Of course I am," I put my hands on my hips. "I know everything you've said."

"And what did I say?"

Oh damn. Well that last thing she said was…well she was talking about that uh… "That button over there controls the video cameras to fluctuate between the various surveillance cameras in the city?"

Barbara looks at me for a moment then shakes her head, but she's smiling.

"Did I get it right?" I ask hopefully because if I did then I'm a lot better listener than I first thought.

"No."

Oh…well damn. "What did you say then?"

"I asked you if you wanted to go out and get some dinner."

Barbara wants to leave the clock tower? As in she actually wants to step outside when Helena is out and doing something as important as sweeps? Is this a trick question?

"Yes?"

"Is that a question or an answer?"

"Yes?"

"Well do you or don't you?"

"Yes?"

"Dinah." I don't like the way she said my name. It kind of gives me chills. "Do you or do you not want to go out and have dinner with me? Personally, I'd like to go out with you so that we can spend some time together outside of the school and this place. We haven't really talked in a while and I miss it."

Oh well in that case. "Of course I do. We can go to that restaurant that just opened up. I know you said something about wanting to go there when it was being built." So does this mean I'm no longer punished for going out to a bar? Maybe Barbara is still going to let me go and do sweeps afterwards. Maybe she thinks she's being harsh on me.

"When we're done eating we'll come back here and you can play Oracle for the night."

So that still means I can't do sweeps but I have to watch over the whole city from above. I don't want to do that. That's hard. That's…what if something happens to Helena and we lose communications and I can't talk to her and I don't know what's going on? I don't want to do that. Barbara is so much better at doing that sort of thing.

"I thought this was supposed to be a purely learning through watching exercise tonight?"

"You've been watching me for a while now and I think you're ready to handle whatever might arise tonight. If something gets to be too much then I'll be right there with you."

She's giving me that look now. That special look that she always gives me when she wants me to try something new and she knows I really don't want to. It's that 'I believe in you' look that she's mastered. She was the first one to ever give me that look and really mean it. She gave me the look even before Helena did.

"Okay fine. I'll do it."

"Great." Barbara smiles. "You'll do fine. Believe me."

Oh I believe her. I have to believe her. The minute I stop believing in Barbara is the minute my entire foundation starts to fall apart.

BOPBOPBOPBOP

We're sitting in the restaurant and our orders have already been taken. Barbara and I haven't really said all that much to each other but I think that's just because Barbara is waiting for me to say something. I wonder what she expects me to say. I don't need to say anything. She can stop staring at me now with that expectant look on her face. I don't want to say anything. I have nothing to say. We've already talked about everything I needed to talk about.

"I didn't drink when I was at the bar you know." I don't know where that came from.

Barbara nods. "I know."

"And Helena already knew that I was going out so it's not like no one knew where I was." Where am I going with this exactly?

"Barbara nods again and takes a sip of her drink. "I know."

"Then why are you punishing me?" Yes whining is always good. Makes me sound just so mature.

"I'm not."

Oh yes well that makes perfect since. She's not letting me go out on sweeps because she's rewarding me. "You're not?"

"No Dinah, I'm not. You know you shouldn't have gone to that bar but you're almost eighteen years old, you can pretty much make your own decisions and I know that sometimes I can seem a little overbearing but…well I just want you to be careful."

I guess it's my turn now to say, "I know."

"Well now that that's all settled why don't you tell me how you and Helena are coming along? You know she came and talked to me the night you got stuck in the window."

"She did?" Why didn't she tell me about this? I knew she wanted to talk to Barbara but she never told me that she already had. Although, lately she has sort of seemed like there's been something on her mind that she just doesn't want to talk about yet. I've decided to give her space. I figure when she really wants to talk about it then she'll come to me and if she doesn't come to me soon then I'll force it out of her.

"Yes she did. She wanted to know how I felt about your relationship."

"And?" I prompt.

"Nothing really," Barbara shrugs. "She just wanted to know how I felt."

"What'd you say?"

"I told her that what I thought didn't matter but that I support you both anyway."

I nod. "Well that makes sense. I knew that already though."

"Yeah," Barbara looks down at the tablecloth and I know she's thinking about what to say next. "I'm going to go away for a weekend…eventually."

Well I wasn't expecting that. "What?"

"Wade and I, we're going away for the weekend." She explains hesitantly. "I just thought I'd tell you."

Hey wait. "So me running all the heavy equipment tonight, is that like a trial run?"

Barbara clears her throat. "Yes."

So I'm not being punished I'm just being trained as the standby. I can handle being the standby. "Well why didn't you just say that before. It would have made me pay closer attention."

Barbara raises her brow at me. "You should have been paying attention anyway."

Well if you wanted to use the whole logic argument then what she says is true. However, I prefer to stick to the immature argument that I didn't have to pay attention to what she was telling me because I thought I was being punished. It's really simple. I pay her back for punishing me by not listening to her. I don't know why anyone would insist on calling my logic complicated.

"Well that may be true," I have no problem conceding to the points she brings up, "But it would have made sense."

Barbara looks at me for a very long time then just starts laughing. It's not a soft demure laugh either; it's a real laugh. She's laughing at me and I don't really care because I love to see her smile. She should do it more often. Which is why I'm so exceedingly happy that she has finally decided to let Wade get a little closer to her. I know that even though she's the big bad Oracle she still needs some lovin' too.

"Okay so tell me all about this weekend you've got planned," I order. "I want all the vital details. You know all the what, when, where, and how stuff."

Our waitress comes with our food before Barbara gets a chance answer and we concentrate on our food until I encourage her to speak more about her eventual weekend getaway.

"So come on now. Tell me what's going on. I need details."

Barbara smiles at me indulgently then carefully sets down her fork. "What is it you want to know?"

I lean onto the table and can't help the evil smirk that comes across my face. "Everything," I practically purr.

Barbara actually blushes and I know that it's going to be a fun night. We'll get dessert, chat about our significant others, then go and watch over the city by using an intricate system of computer equipment that tracks everything that goes on. It's going to be a fun night.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own Birds of Prey

Three weeks. It took three very long weeks for me to finally get out of the hospital. First they wanted me to be able to stand up. Then I had to be able to walk. And Finally I had to be able to get around on my own. All the feeling came back eventually.

But still, it took three weeks. I was out of my world for three weeks. Well, I wasn't completely out of the world for three weeks. Helena and Dinah kept me pretty connected. They were by my side when they really didn't have to be. I should probably be thankful for that too, but I'm not.

I could have handled everything just fine on my own. I didn't need them by my side constantly reminding me that I'm not one of them, that no matter what I do I'll never be one of them. Helena says it doesn't matter to her, but I know that it does. What other reason would she have for hooking up with her younger partner?

They're the same. They think they have this special connection that I'll never be able to share. I'm not even sure I'd want to share it anyway. It'd be a big responsibility. I mean Dinah must have tons of problems. She has to be careful with who she touches because she just might fall into their minds and never get out. And Helena is stronger than most people are. She's stronger than I am. I can just imagine what would happen if she didn't check her strength when she was dealing with us normal people.

I'll never stop needing their help though. I'll always need them by my side when I'm dealing with some…well when I'm dealing with some lizard lady who spits poison at me. I'll need them when I can't handle the situation on my own or when the law falls short and won't allow me to do my job. I need them. I don't want to need them, but I need them.

At one time, I actually thought they'd let me be a part of their group. I thought that maybe they needed me as much as I needed them but I was wrong. I at least thought that maybe Helena and I could be something together, besides partners. She made me think that I had found someone who I could share my life with and not have to hide away the part of me that deals with the scum of New Gotham.

I bet she's having a good laugh at me now. I bet she's sitting up on her rooftops and laughing. Laughing about how Reese fell for her entire act and Dinah's probably right there with her. Or at least that's how I wish it was. Then maybe I could actually be angry with them and blame them for everything that has ever gone wrong in my life, but I can't. I know that Helena feels bad about what happened between us and I know that Dinah…well I'm pretty sure that Dinah would love to rub it in my face that she got the grand prize in a contest I didn't even know I was a part of, but I know she won't. I'm sure she realizes having to see them together is almost more than I can handle.

So here I am. Waiting on the both of them again standing over some dead body that was killed with some very nasty poison from a lady who looks like a lizard. I will always need their help more than they will ever need mine.

"Hey," Helena from behind me. I don't even bother to turn around.

"Hey. We've got another one."

Helena walks up next to me and looks down at the body then takes a quick look around. I know she's searching for the lady who did this, but she's not going to find her. I've already looked and I couldn't find a damn thing. I notice Dinah's not with her and am curious. Did they have a fight? Are they patrolling different parts of the city? Is Dinah hurt?

"You ever wonder why she came back to the scene of that last murder?" She asks bending down over the body.

I shrug even though I know she can't see me do it. "Yeah I wonder about that all the time. She almost killed me that night. I tend to wonder about the circumstances often."

She turns to me and her eyes capture mine for a long moment. I know she wants to say something but she doesn't. She just nods and looks back at the body.

"You ever come up with a theory of why she came back?" She asks her head still bent down.

"The only thing different about that night was that you weren't here and Dinah was."

That gets Helena's attention. She stands up and backs away from the body. "Do you think the woman wants something from Dinah?"

There's fear in her voice and I'm almost sorry that I put it there. Makes me kind of wish that I had an answer for her too. "I don't know, but do you notice something about all the people she's been killing. You see a trend?"

Helena's about to say no but it stops right on the tip of her tongue. She realizes what I'm talking about. She realizes that every single woman that has been killed has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is about the same height as Dinah. I'm surprised Oracle hasn't informed them of this very unique trend. I'm even more surprised that they haven't realized it themselves. I guess they just choose to be blissfully ignorant.

"I've got to go," She tells me backing away from the body and backing away from me.

I look down at the concrete ground. "Helena if it helps, I don't think she wants to bring harm to Dinah," I say but when I look back up I know Helena hasn't heard a thing I've said because she's gone.

I'm back at the department filling out all my paperwork for the night and I have this ball of tension in my stomach. Ever since I've left that crime scene earlier tonight I can't help but think of the look Helena gave me once I told her my theory. No one may believe me now, but I really don't want anything to happen to Dinah. I truly don't. She's just a kid and she doesn't deserve any crazy person out there having it in their sick mind to mess with her.

I don't want anyone to touch her and I'll do whatever I can to keep her safe. The girl saved my life, it's really the least I can do. Plus, well I think I care for her. I don't think I can help caring about her. She has this thing. It's probably the same thing that made Helena…well it's probably behind part of the reason Helena and I aren't together anymore.

I know the girl can protect herself, but I don't want her to have to.

"You're working awfully late tonight detective," a voice calls out to me through the darkness of the corner. "I'm glad to see that you're up and walking again."

I remain seated at my desk. I don't want this woman to think that I'm a threat to her now. The last time I did that I was in the hospital for three weeks.

"What do you want?"

She steps out of the shadows slowly and languidly walks to the chair across from my desk to take a seat. "I want you to trust me."

She must be crazy. Maybe she's getting high off of her own poison. "Like I said, what do you want?"

"I came to you because I think you're the only one who will actually listen to me and see sense."

Okay the way she's talking has kind of got me scared. "I'm listening."

She shakes her head. "No you're not. But you will be."

The woman's crazy. "Just tell me what you got to say?"

Reptilian lady crosses her legs and leans back in the chair. "I want her and I want you to bring her to me."

She's talking about Dinah. I know she is but still. "Who?"

She shakes her head. "Please don't Detective. I don't want you playing stupid with me. I know you to be an educated man."

I sigh. "Fine. Why do you want her?"

"She can do something for me. Something I haven't been able to get from anyone else."

"Is that why you're killing all these people? You're just looking for something?"

She nods her head once. "I thought that if I just got someone close enough…well it doesn't matter because it doesn't work."

"What are you trying to do?"

"I'm sure that you're aware of how special our young Canary is?"

I nod.

"Well I need her special skills to help me on a project of mine and that's all you need to know."

"Listen," My voice is firm, "if you seriously expect me to help you out then you've got to tell me what the hell you've got planned for her."

"Well…how about I just tell you that if you help me I'll let her live and if you don't then I'll not only kill her, but I'll also kill you and the woman who protects her."

Now I don't think she could lay a hand on Helena…me on the other hand, but I don't care about me. "If I help you out then Huntress is going to kill me anyway."

The woman raises her brow. "Huntress? Is that her name?"

Okay I'm supposed to be getting information not giving it. "I don't think that really matters."

She smiles mockingly at me. "No I guess it doesn't."

"So what do you want with her?"

"You are persistent, Detective, aren't you?"

I don't answer her. I only wait for a response to my question.

"I'll give you a few days to think about it," she stands and brushes off the front of her green leather pants. "If you tell anyone about our conversation then I'll make sure that they all die anyway."

I stand up slowly, still not wanting to make her feel threatened. "I don't turn on my friends."

She stands up straight and cocks her hide to the side. "Your friends Detective? Tell me, where are your friends now?"

I don't answer, mostly because I don't have an answer. I don't know where they are.

"You don't know do you Detective? And that's because they don't want you to know. You're not their friend, Detective, you're their pawn."

"Well at least they're on the right side."

"Perhaps. But do you know what the greater good is, Detective?"

I really wish she would stop calling me that.

"The greater good, Detective, is getting me that girl. What is one life-- one solitary life-- compared to all the others I'll have to kill until I get to one that is like her? Do you want one girl's blood on your hands or do you want twenty…fifty…a hundred? I won't stop, Detective, until I get what I want."

"So you're saying that once you get her then you're going to stop killing?" I shake my head. "Call me crazy, but I don't believe that."

"I'm only looking for someone strong enough, Detective, and she's the one. Once I have her I have no reason to continue my search."

"I still don't believe you."

She shrugs. "Believe what you will."

"Why do you need my help? You seem to have been getting along just fine without any help." Now I'm just curious. What would she ever want me to do? Stop Helena? That's not possible.

"Trust is a luxury I do not have."

I snort. "So you want me to betray their trust?"

"It's the greater good, Detective."

"You've got the wrong man."

She shrugs. "Possibly…but I don't think I do."

"Think what you want."

She reaches into the pocket of her green leather jacket and I can't help but back away. I know what this woman is capable of. She just grins at me. She knows I'm afraid of her and I think she enjoys it, but then again most crazies do. She pulls out a card from the inside pocket and hands it out to me. "Don't worry, Detective, it's perfectly safe."

I slowly reach out and take it. There's nothing on there but a first name and number. I'm sure Oracle could find more than enough information on this crazy just by the number and name. I'll be sure to get it to her as soon as possible.

"I know you're a very loyal man, Detective, but I feel that if a man can turn in his own father then he'll have no problem handing over a young girl who will only be missed by a very selective few. Call me."

She walks away from me without even one look back. I'm standing at my desk holding her card in my hand and I'm actually considering her offer. Oracle and Huntress got along just fine before without Dinah, from what I understand.

I know trusting the bad guy is never a good idea. I think this one's different though. She didn't hurt Dinah and I when she had the chance that night. She didn't do anything but defend herself.

"Hey Reese why am I not surprised to find you here?" Helena suddenly appears before me. I quickly place the card in my pocket hoping that she doesn't question me about it.

"I was just finishing up my paper work," I point to the paper littering my desk. "Did you need something?"

She shrugs. "Not really. I just wanted to see how you were doing on your first day back."

"Actually," Dinah calls from across the room. "We wanted to see how your first day back was."

I'm surprised that they're together…here together especially after Helena's earlier enlightenment this evening.

"Well as you can see," I spread my arms out, "I'm still alive."

Dinah walks up to Helena and takes place beside her. They actually do look good together. They fit. There's no place for me though.

"And you're going to have to take it easy if you want to stay that way," Dinah tells me. "So get your stuff and let's go."

"Go where?" I ask grabbing my jacket from the back of my chair.

"We're taking you home," Dinah reaches out and grabs my hand. "You've got to take care of yourself."

I glance at Helena asking her with my eyes if this is some sort of joke and Helena just shakes her head and smiles.

"You are aware that I can take myself home aren't you?" I ask Dinah even though I don't resist her pulling.

"You're also a workaholic and need guidance when it comes to such things as taking care of yourself." Dinah responds while she continues to pull me away from my desk and unfinished work.

Helena follows us out only a few steps behind. She's smirking at us or rather at me.

"Do you think I'm just going to let you drag me about like this?" I ask pulling back a little.

Dinah stops completely then just looks at me for a moment. "Well…yeah."

This girl is something else. "Fine. Take me home."

Dinah smiles and lets go of my hand. She looks behind me to Helena and sticks out her tongue. "I told you he'd listen to me."

Helena rolls her eyes and takes a few quick steps then Dinah is suddenly in her arms. They lose their selves into each other and I feel like I should look away. I shouldn't be exposed to this. This is theirs alone and not mine to share. I wonder if Oracle ever feels the same way.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Birds Of Prey**

He never told us what she was doing there. I honestly…well I expected more from him. I thought that he'd at least tell us something. I hoped that he would at least tell us something. I know he has a problem with Dinah and I'm sure he's still a little bitter about what happened between us, but I really expected him to say something to us.

I know he cares for Dinah. Hell he fucking owes his life to her…but he still didn't say anything. He kept silent. He hid information from us that can actually get this bitch off of the streets and he's asking me why I don't trust him? He comes up to me and asks if we can ever truly be partners?

The answer is simple. No. We could never be partners. We especially can't be partners when he actually has to think about not turning Dinah over to some freak who wants to do who the hell knows what with her.

Does he think I'm blind? Does he think I can't see what's going on with him? He's having some real meta envy going on and I don't have the fucking time to deal with it. Barbara tells me to just let it go and we should wait and see what he does. She still thinks that he has a chance of actually doing the right thing. She's willing to risk it, but I'm not.

I'm not willing to risk Dinah getting into that woman's hands. I'm not willing to risk Reese's childish envy getting in the way of us taking care of this thorn that has constantly been in our side. I don't know what's going through the man's head and I don't know all what that green atrocity said to him, but he better get his shit together quick.

Does he even understand that she wants Dinah? And more importantly does he not think that I noticed this from the first body we found that had been poisoned? Of course I realized that all the victims have looked like Dinah. I can pay attention just as good as the good ole' detective. Does he not realize that the news has been playing the same fucking sound byte that explains who the victims look like over and over again?

Does he think that Dinah doesn't notice it?

We haven't talked about it. None of us have talked about it, not even Barbara, but we all know what's going on here. We know who this person is after, we just don't know why. I'm afraid to learn what the why is though. I don't want to know. I don't think Dinah wants to know or Barbara wants to know either. We're all content with thinking that we need to get our information on the psycho then go and kick some ass.

I don't let Dinah go out alone anymore and Barbara gave her a comm. set that can't be turned off. I walk her to school and I'm there to pick her up. We do sweeps together and she's never out of my sight.

So, we haven't talked about it but we've adjusted around it. Dinah doesn't complain because she knows we're only concerned, worried, fucking terrified about her. A certain part of her has to be scared too, or else it would be almost impossible to put such a tight watch on her. Dinah's a free spirit, if she doesn't really want to be tied down then she won't be. That's something we have in common.

"Hey," Dinah calls to me from across her room. I don't know how she knew I was there; I was actually trying to be quiet.

"What are you doing?" I stroll into her room and fall down onto the bed. She leans down and places a soft kiss on my forward.

"I'm debating whether or not I should let you in on a secret?" She's smirking at me and I suddenly get this fluttery feeling in my stomach. I've only ever gotten this feeling with her.

"Well why wouldn't you want to tell me?" I lower my voice. "Did you do something bad?"

Dinah shakes her head. "No," she draws out the word. "But I'm about to."

This girl is going to drive me to my grave. She's still seventeen. We only have a month left. Just one month, I can last a month. I shouldn't ask. I know I shouldn't ask but, "What are you gonna do?"

"Well," Dinah maneuvers so that she's straddling my stomach. She leans down and whispers into my ear, "I have a confession to make" then plants a light kiss on my neck.

My mouth is suddenly dry. I wonder if Dinah would help me out with that problem. I reach out and bring her lips towards mine and kiss her with all the passion that is inside of me. I try to hold back but it's impossible to do. When the kiss ends she's looking down at me with such love and regret in her eyes that it frightens me.

"I really should have told you this earlier," she pulls away from me but keeps her position on top of me. "But Reese and Barbara thought it'd be better if you didn't know until they actually found something out."

"Dinah, what are you talking about?" My voice is harder than I intend it to be but I can't help it.

She places her hand on my chest and gently holds me down. "I'm only telling you now because I think you should know and I want you to know that I trust you, but you can't run off and do anything stupid."

I try to sit up but Dinah's hand is still on my chest holding me down. "Dinah." I warn.

"Helena, I'm telling you this because I love you and I trust that you won't do anything stupid."

"Just fucking tell me," this time she can't hold me down and I'm able to sit up but I only manage to bring her closer to me. I wrap my arms around her to prevent her from falling back and she places hers around my neck. I look into her eyes and I know she's nervous so I make a conscious effort to calm down. "Please just tell me?"

Her head drops for a moment then she's looking at me again. "Reece told me about the crazy lizard lady coming to the police station that night. He gave me the card to give Dinah and told me that I probably shouldn't tell you until he had a chance to check things out." I'm about to say something very not nice about Reese but she covers my lips with her index finger. "He thinks she's really dangerous, Helena. He didn't want you going after her blind and Barbara agreed. They're still trying to find out where this lady is, but I thought you should know."

"Do they have an idea of where she at least might be?"

"Don't even think about it, Helena. That's why they didn't want to tell you."

How does she know what I was thinking? I wasn't thinking of anything, except for going over to wherever this bitch might be and killing her.

Dinah removes one arm from around my neck and grabs my chin. "I'm serious Helena. When we know where she is and what she wants then we'll go after her together. All of us."

"No we won't. I'm not going to let you within a ten miles of that woman."

"Baby," Dinah let's go of my chin and caresses by cheek. "I know you're worried about me. It scares me too but we have to do this together. We're a team and don't think that I'm going to let you go after her on your own."

I sigh and drop my head into Dinah's chest. "Can I at least be pissed at Barbara and Reese for not wanting to tell me?"

"I'd prefer you not to be and I don't entirely agree with what they wanted to do but you should know their hearts were in the right place."

I know they were. Still, they didn't trust me, and that kind of hurts. They may have been right not to tell me but it still hurts.

"I'll try to keep that in mind as I'm yelling at them."

Dinah groans and forces my head back up so that I'm looking at her. "You have every right to be upset. I would be too, but tell me that they weren't right about you going all lone vigilante."

I open my mouth to deny it but I can't. "Don't let me get a hold of where you think she might be. When Barbara and Reese have everything settled tell me about it and we'll go after her." I'm honest enough with myself to know that if I get my hands on where this bitch might be then I'm going to go after her. I wouldn't even know how to try and stop myself from doing it. I think Barbara once called it blind rage.

"As soon as I know something then I'll tell you. I told them to not tell me anything else. I think it's better if I just face this lady when I have something more to go on."

"Are you scared?" I run my hand through her soft blonde hair. "You know I won't let her get to you."

"I have this woman killing all these people because of me…" Her voice trails off and she looks towards the window. "Why me? What does she want?"

I don't have an answer. As far as I know, none of us have an answer. "I'm sorry, Dinah, I don't know."

There's tears falling from her eyes now, and it's clear to me just how much this lady has gotten her worried. I wipe away all the tears and make her face me again. "She's not going to lay one hand on you. I swear it."

She nods then our gazes are once again locked. I lean up and meet her lips. Our kiss is gentle. She brings her hands up to cover my face and I pull her even closer to me. Her hair falls around us and covers us both from the outside world.

She eases me back onto the mattress and her body is fully covering my own. There's a voice in the back of my head warning me that I should wait, but I'm tired of listening to that voice. I want to listen to that other part of me now. The part that tells me that she's the most important person in my life.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asks me when we pull back for air. It's almost absurd that she's the one asking me this. I'm the one that's supposed to be asking her if she's ready. I should be asking if she's okay. I shouldn't be the one that's so afraid.

"I love you," I tell her as my answer. She smiles then leans back down and captures my lips again.

Dinah's sleeping in my arms now. Her body rests slightly over my own and I have no words to describe…anything. All I know is that I am content. I am happy and I am content. That constant war that I feel is always going inside of me seems to have…ceased at least for the time being.

There's a knock on the door and then Barbara's head pokes into the room. I signal for her to be quiet then mouth to her that I'll be out in a sec. She nods then closes the door. I carefully remove myself from under Dinah's body and place a soft kiss on her temple.

I quickly dress and meet Barbara right outside of the door. She's looking at me and she's smiling. I know she wants to say something but for some reason she's holding back.

"What's up?" I ask shifting uncomfortably on my feet.

"I just thought I'd ask if you two were hungry."

I know she wants to comment. "Just say it," I snap.

"But it looks like you've already satisfied your appetites." She says immediately after permission has been given.

"That was truly brilliant."

"Yes well give me more time and I can come up with something better. But seriously, and I'm guessing that answer will probably be yes since I'm sure you have to replenish your energy, do you want to order food?"

"Yeah that'd be good."

"I'll order it." She turns around to go…well order the food but I need to know something before I go back in that room and lay with Dinah.

"Why did you tell me about Reese coming to you? You let me think he betrayed us."

She stops and I can see her shoulders droop. "I wanted to keep you alive, Helena."

I nod even though she can't see me. "You still should have trusted me."

"Would you have gone after her?"

"Probably." I'd never lie about that. "But I'd hope that you'd trust me to come back before I did something stupid. I do have self-control."

"I know." She turns back around to face me. "But you understand that when it comes to Dinah, you're different. You let your heart lead you instead of your head."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Of course not," she immediately responds. "I think it's a great thing but sometimes…well sometimes it just makes things a little more interesting."

I just raise my brow.

"It's not a bad thing, Helena. Sometimes though, it can be dangerous. Especially when dealing with people like this lizard lady."

"I know."

"You aren't too terribly upset that I didn't tell you are you?"

I shake my head. "No. I don't like it and I don't want it happening again, but I'm not too upset about it."

"I promise the next time Reese comes to me with information about the current crazy then I'll tell you everything."

"Good." I nod.

She doesn't move. I know she's waiting to see if I have anything else to say. I don't know how she knows I do but… "So Reese was willing to let me think he was going to betray us to make sure I didn't go out and do something crazy?"

"He's a good man."

"And a little stupid if he's willing to risk me kicking the shit out of him."

Barbara smiles. "It was a risk he was willing to take." Her smile fades and eyes harden. "He cares a lot about both you and Dinah, Helena don't ever forget that."

"I won't."

"Good. Now go back in there and do whatever it was you were doing and I'll go order the food."

I don't need to be told that twice. I open the door to the bedroom and see Dinah still laid out peacefully on the bed, but I know she's awake.

"Did you settle everything with Barbara?" she asks me as I slide into the bed beside her.

"Yeah we talked." I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me.

"That's good. So, no hard feelings?"

"Nope."

"Good." She takes my hand into hers and pulls it to her chest. "I don't like it when you and Barbara don't get along."

"There's nothing to worry about now." I kiss the back of her neck then lay my head down next to hers. I think I'd like to stay like this forever.


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own BOP.

Okay so there are a lot of things going on in my life. I have the entire social hierarchy to worry about at school, I have notes to take for class and exams to study for and take, I have a relationship…a really really good relationship with a perfect woman who just makes everything perfect, and I also have to worry about keeping the entire city safe, and oh yes there's a woman out there who wants me to be her special friend in a special way that I'm sure includes torture and general mayhem. Yeah, I have quite a bit to worry about these days so I've decided to play a game. It's a special game that only the very gifted can play and that game is of complete and utter denial/ indifference. I group these two together only because I'm indifferent because I'm in denial.

Helena wants me to talk about it so does Barbara and I'm pretty sure that Reese tried to bring the conversation up, but I don't want to. It's really as simple as that. What's talking about it going to do anyway? It'll just be me crying tears over something that I can't change. I'm way too strong to be crying over spilled milk. That is how that saying goes, right? It doesn't really matter; I'm not going to be crying over anything. Well anything having to do with this lizard person.

Eventually the poisonous lady will come out of whatever sewer or hole she's buried herself in and will try and do something to me. Well it's either that or she'll continue to kill all these innocents because she's searching for something that I can only offer. I think I rather her just come after me and kill me. After seeing the tenth body on the ground and knowing…well knowing that I was the cause of it…well it leaves marks.

What I should do is just go out there and meet her head on. I shouldn't be hiding behind the protection of Helena, Barbara, and Reese. I'm strong. I know what I'm doing. I'm not just some little girl who should be sitting around and doing nothing while my time is ticking away; because the time is ticking away of that I have no doubt. I can actually hear the seconds go by and I'm nowhere near a clock…oh wait scratch that I am sitting in a clock tower, but that's really not my point. I can hear the seconds ticking away in my head. My whole body is on countdown.

I need to get out of here. I'm not going to be able to get anything done especially not this history crap. Call me crazy, but I'm not really that concerned with writing an essay on the effects Woodrow Wilson's presidency had on this country. I only have one sentence done so far and I'm not even sure if, 'Woodrow Wilson was a man' really qualifies as a sentence of any true substance.

"Barbara!" I call as I come out of my room. "I'm going for a walk."

Barbara turns away from her myriad of screen and looks at me like she's dissecting my simple statement into a million pieces analyzing it and searching for some hidden meaning. All I meant was that I'm going for a walk. I can walk. I'm walking right now. What's so hard about that?

"Helena isn't here," she tells me like I don't know this already. I know where Helena is. She's out there doing her working thing. Maybe I should get a job so that I don't have to spend as much time here. I could certainly try to pay my way a little bit around here. It's really not necessary for Barbara to. I'm an adult…almost.

"I know, which is just fine because I didn't want to take a walk with her, I wanted to take a walk by myself."

Okay so here comes the refusal to let me go out because it's too dangerous and blah blah blah and so on and so forth and the don't you have homework.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

Alright so she's trying something new here. She's not telling me I can't do something she's just wondering if I've lost my mind. "Yes. I can't concentrate on my homework and I need a break."

Okay so now I'm going to get the refusal to let me go out because it's too dangerous and the blah blah blah's the so on and so forth.

"Keep your comm. set on and if Reese needs something then I'll send you out. Helena's boss told her if she left early one more time this week then she's going to get fired."

I think I'm having a scratch head in confusion moment. She wants me to go and do what now? I can leave? There's no refusal? I was fully prepared for a refusal. I had my argument all planned out. There was going to be points to be made and…and there was going to be voices raised and I was going to storm out of here with conviction. I needed the angry to override my fear of actually stepping out in the dark alone. Barbara is a very smart woman.

"Is there a reason why you are standing there and staring at me?"

She's smirking at me. I can't believe that she finds this funny. This isn't funny. This is very serious.

"Dinah?"

I don't know what to say. I can't very well be mean to a person who is letting me do what I want to do. Where's the authority now? Where's her, I know best because I've been around longer attitude? I need this attitude. I can only fight this attitude.

"You do realize that I'm going to go outside all by myself at night?"

"Dinah are you okay?"

"Don't change the subject here, Barb. I want an answer to my question."

She shakes her head but I guess is into appeasing me. "I do realize that it's nighttime and I also realize that you'll be going out alone."

"Then why am I allowed to go?"

"Because you're old enough to make your own choices and me keeping you hostage here if you don't want to be here isn't going to make either of us very happy. Dinah it's your choice to make and your consequence to live out."

Suddenly I have this picture of the entire 'wax on and wax off' scene from that one movie. Something's happening here. It's a moment. There should be some omniscient music playing that just by the tone of it all should tell me that I'm making some important decision about life. Maybe I should just say yes sensei, bow, and try and get back to my pointless paper on a dead man.

"I know that." Wow that's the best I could come up with? "I don't want to live in fear though. Maybe the consequence of that would be more damaging to me than something else happening." No that's the best I can do.

Barbara shrugs. "It's all your choice to make."

Helena wouldn't want me to go out, but she's not here. Barbara isn't stopping me from going out; she's actually remaining quite neutral. It's all up to me. This is what I believe some would call pressure.

"Well I'm just going to go out. I won't stay out too long, but I just need to get away. I feel like I'm suffocating."

"You know Dinah, if you wanted to stay here and actually talk about what's going on with you then that'd be fine too."

So she doesn't want me to go out! I knew it! She was just playing with my head.

"Maybe when I get back."

Ah. Fresh air. There's really nothing quite like it. The night has a little bit of a chill, but I'm not going to let it drive me back inside. I'm fine. There's no one out here but me and all the other people walking the streets. They all seem pretty normal, but then again I guess I look pretty normal too but I'm not really normal. At least I'm not normal by the mainstream sense of the word.

There was a time when I was younger, as if I'm a hundred now, but there was a time when I was younger all I wanted to be was normal. I wanted to be like everyone else around me and fit in because I didn't want to be left behind again. I didn't want my other mother to leave me behind because I wasn't good enough.

I played the role of the good girl for so long that I became her. I did everything everyone thought I should do; yet I was still a freak. It didn't matter what clothes I wore or how much I changed how I acted around everyone else, I was the same freak underneath it all.

Now though, now I wouldn't want to be normal for nothing. If I were normal then I wouldn't have Helena because I would have never known she existed. If I were normal then I wouldn't be able to be the superhero. I wouldn't be able to stick up for the little guy and take out the bad one. I wouldn't be able to at least and stop letting the bullies win. I think they won already too much when it came to me.

"So you finally decided to stop hiding behind your ring of protectors."

Shit. Shit mother fucking damn. I should have stayed with Barbara. We could have talked and had a few laughs. It would have been fun. We could have stayed up and waited for Helena to come home and then we could do more chatting. Maybe I'd even suggest a nice board game. It could be the Game of Life and I wouldn't be able to die in it.

I turn around and face this woman who has been my special friend for the last few months. She's wearing her standard green leather attire and her eyes are just as reptilian as they've always been. Her long blonde hair is down and kind of has a winded look to it. Just looking at her kind of reminds me of looking at myself in the mirror, and since I'm just noticing this for the first time it's a little disconcerting. She's not after people that look like me; she's after people that look like her.

"I can take care of myself." I thought maybe it was time I actually answer her instead of just stare at her.

"Yes but you still have many protectors. I thought for sure that the Detective would get in touch with me. He's quite loyal to you."

"He's a good person, which is more than I can say for you." Okay I need to watch what I say. I shouldn't really antagonize the woman who can spit poison out at me when I don't have the antidote. 'Always remember the antidote. Always remember the antidote. Even take the antidote with you when you're just stepping outside for a second' I believe that's what Helena and Barbara had told me when we were discussing the antidote.

"Despite what you might think, Black Canary, I am not an evil person. I want the same thing that everyone else wants."

"Which would be?"

"I want my family."

"So what? You kill people when they decide they don't want to join you in your life of killing?"

She bows her head and sighs. "I am very misunderstood."

"You kill people maliciously. What's to misunderstand?" Don't antagonize the evil lady. Don't antagonize the evil lady. I need to learn that whole self-control thing Barbara keeps on emphasizing when we're training. I think even Helena brought it up a few times.

"More than you will ever know."

I should bite my tongue. I should bite my tongue and just accept that she's crazy and then I should try to run away or at least get some back up here. "Well…how am I supposed to know if you won't tell me? What are you looking for?"

"I need someone strong enough."

I throw my hands up in the air exasperated. "Strong enough for what?"

"You'll find out."

Oh damn. I don't like that look. That's the evil guy death look. "You'll have to get me first," I choose to run away. I guess I could stay and fight but all it takes is just a little bit of poison and I won't be going anywhere for a while.

"Barbara!" I scream. I'm hoping she's heard some of the conversation already. "I need help."

"Dinah?"

Thank God. "Barbara I need help. I'm uh…well I'm being chased by the lizard lady and I don't have the antidote to the poison with me."

"Okay. I'll send Helena to your position. Is there anyone else with her?"

Is there anyone else with her? I don't know. I should know these things. It's in the hero book written in big letters. Always know who is around you. Damn it. Well she doesn't really appear to be following me. Why isn't she following me?

Oh wait that's why. It's a trap. "She has a few people with her…" I stop running and look around me. There's nothing but very high buildings. If I were Helena I could get the hell out of hear and look forward to looking into the good talking to that Barbara will give me.

Second rule in the hero book written all big and pretty, 'Don't Panic'. Okay so I just need to hold on until Helena gets here. I can take care of the five or so people standing in front of me and the poison-spitting lady behind me.

"If you come with me willingly nothing will happen to you."

Yes the last time I believed that statement when coming out of the mouth of the bad guy was…well never.

"Dinah? What's going on?" Barbara sounds a little worried. She can just join the club.

"Whatever you want you're not getting from me." I rush her. I guess fighting eminent death is better than being taken away to someplace else and dying slowly.

She barely is able to dodge my fist but she does. She's quick and she's ready for a fight. I beat her the last time I can do it again now. Barbara is screaming in my ear, and it's a little distracting but I get over it quickly. I can't concentrate on that voice in my head especially when there's this lady who spits poison out of her mouth is standing in front of me and some seriously mean looking people are standing behind me.

I get in a good hit to her ribs with my foot. I actually think I break a few because I hear a crunching sound. She's knocked down and I turn around to be faced with a young man that looks like he's going to be shooting electricity at me sometime soon.

I dive out of the way and don't take the time to make sure I wasn't hit by the bolt before I'm on my feet again and doing my best to concentrate on this guy and get him knocked out somehow. I focus on all my energy and picture him being swept into a wall. Moments later he's being thrown into the side of the building but it's taken me too long to do it. I'm being hit in the torso by some type of energy burst and it hurts like hell.

I'm on the ground and I can feel them all coming closer to me. I put the pain in the back of my mind and do my best to stand up. I don't know how much more I can do but I've got to at least fight.

"Don't fight us anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone else." Lizard lady tells me. "I never wanted to hurt anyone."

Yeah…for some reason, maybe it's the big burn on my stomach, but I don't believe her. Physically I'm pretty much spent so all I have left is my meta powers and I may be too weak to even make use of those.

"Dinah!" Barbara's voice penetrates my thoughts. "Dinah, Sweetie, hang on; Helena is on her way."

Okay so I need to concentrate again. There's four people who appear to have meta powers ready to kill me. The quickest way to get them away from me is to uh…well make them go away. I just need to push all of them away from me. That's not going to be that hard. Sure I've never done it before, but…okay I need to concentrate.

God. It worked. Wait…some of them are getting back up and I don't feel too good. "Oracle tell Helena that I'm sorry." I can't fight anymore. I don't have anything left in me.

Wait what's that? Who's that? Is that Reese? What's he doing here? He shouldn't be fighting them. He's not strong enough. He'll get hurt again. I can't hurt him anymore. I like him now. I want to tell him to watch out for the lady behind him but my mouth isn't working. I feel like I'm paralyzed. I feel like I'm paralyzed? Did I get hit with the poison?

It's getting harder to believe. I think I'm laying on the ground now. How's Reese doing? I can't see him anymore. I can hear him. I think Helena's here too. I can almost feel her, but I can't stay awake.


	11. Chapter 11

All it takes is one moment for everything to change in a person's life. Just one. I knew my life was going to be changed forever when Helena came into my life. Oddly it wasn't the gunshot that paralyzed me that changed everything, but it was this teenager that was angry, wild, and set on trying my patience. Helena came and then she brought Dinah into my life and eventually brought Reese as well. All it took to set that off was one moment.

Dinah was out there alone tonight. She was fighting for her life and I couldn't do anything to help her. I was stuck in this damn clock tower listening to her fight. I got Reese there…he was the closest. I got Helena there…she was the fastest and I prayed that they'd all come back to the clock tower somber but smiling because they were all alive.

Unfortunately, that's not what happened. What happened was that my perception of this entire situation changed. I was forced to look at things differently and try to make sense of everything because I know that they would turn to me for guidance. That's what they always do. That's what I'm here for. Helena takes her weight too, but ultimately she looks to me for answers. This time, I'm not too sure what answer I should give.

She came back holding Dinah in her arms, screaming for me to help her. She had already given Dinah the antidote but it wasn't working fast enough. I couldn't do anything but wait for it to kick in and tell Helena that eventually Dinah would come back to us. I had to have faith that she would. Her body was already very weak from the fight I wasn't too sure that she was going to be able to handle fighting off the poison.

He came to me, for the first time, holding the woman who caused all these problems in his arms. She was moaning and she was hurt. I think he barely stopped Helena from killing her. He laid her down and said I should take a look at her. When did I become a doctor?

I did my best. I sat down and I looked at her. I looked at her and I realized something…something I'm surprised Reese hadn't caught onto yet. She was breathing but her heart wasn't beating. She didn't have a heart. She wasn't real.

When Dinah had her first encounter with the woman she told me that she touched her hand and she couldn't feel anything. Well, this would the be reason why. The woman that has been causing us so many problems is nothing but a figment of our imaginations or to be completely technical she's nothing but a figment of someone else's imagination. As far as I can tell she's some type of projection from someone's mind. Looks and acts exactly like a human being, but isn't one.

Our new problem is to find the real person behind this woman. The bigger problem, though, is trying to find out how we even start searching. We could always just start looking at files of people that look like her, which shouldn't be too entirely large since she was wiping her look-alikes off the map, but I'm not too sure how far that would get us.

I haven't told anyone else yet. I think they'd like to think that it's over. I know Helena doesn't want to hear the news at least until Dinah wakes up and I don't blame her for that. I wouldn't want to know any of this either, but I had a job to do.

"You've been quiet for a while," Reese sits down across from me at the table. "What is it you're not telling anyone?"

"How do you know I'm not telling you anything? We really don't know each other."

Reese nods his head. "That's true. But just call it a hunch. You look like something's on your mind."

Well, I'll have to start telling people eventually. "She's not alive."

"Not alive?"

"She's not real, just some kind of astral projection from someone else's mind."

"How's that possible?" Reese leans onto the table. "She almost killed me and almost got Dinah. How can she not be real?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. She's real enough to cause us harm, but not real enough to…well she's not real enough to die."

"Then how was Helena just about able to beat her to death."

"The person responsible for this is probably in a whole lot of pain right now. They probably felt what was happening."

"So why isn't this projection disappearing?"

I let my head fall into my hands. "Maybe they don't have anywhere else to go."

"So what does this mean?"

I don't know.

"It means we can't kill this bitch until Dinah is well enough to search for her."

Helena is standing behind me, her arms are crossed in front of her and she doesn't look that happy.

"We can start searching, Helena. Dinah doesn't have to be put in front of her anymore."

"Wait," Reese jumps in forcing me to turn my attention back to him. "Is this a case of, if we don't believe it then it doesn't exist?"

"Sort of. It's almost like fighting a dream. Even in our dreams we may know it's fake but we don't usually know it is until we're awake and we've already been hurt in our dreams."

"So only Dinah can find her, why?" He asks. I think he's wanting run in and be the hero again.

"She's the only one of us that can reach into the dream and pull whoever is making this woman out." Helena answers none to patiently.

I think it's time for a subject change. I can explain everything to Reese later when Helena isn't standing here waiting to pounce on anything that makes her the least bit irritated. "How's Dinah doing?" I'll go up and check on her soon.

"She's still sleeping," Helena turns her gaze away. I don't think she wants me to see the unshed tears in her eyes.

"Did you need anything?" I ask hoping that she'll admit that she's scared or something.

She turns back to me and all the tears are gone. "I just wanted to see what was going on with uh…reptile lady."

Which in translation means she couldn't stand watching Dinah lying on a bed not sure if she'd wake up. "Well I have her locked up right now so when she wakes up I'll be sure to pass the information along."

"How can she still be sleeping, though?" Reese asks. "I mean she's not real."

He really needs to shut up right now. I know he's as worried as the rest of us but if he's going to hang out here then he's going to have to learn that we're the silent broody type, the only exception being Dinah. We only talk about the bad guy when we know that we're all ready to talk about it or when we can't put it off anymore and the issue is forced upon us.

"I'll explain everything later, Reese." I tell him shortly then turn my attention back to Helena. "Maybe you should take a bit of a break. Take a walk or something?"

It was a walk that started this whole night out wasn't it?

"No, I'm going to go back." Helena points her thumb over her shoulder. "I think she's going to wake up soon."

I just smile and nod. It may be hours until Dinah wakes up. It may also be days, weeks, months…

When Helena is gone Reese sits back in his chair and just looks at me. He's being quiet now. I think he wants answers. He wants a direction he can take to make everything better.

"Reese, I don't know how this person is doing what she is doing. I don't even know if it's a she. All I can hope is if the next time we face her then you'll be able to realize she's not real and can't hurt you, but since that's not really the easiest thing to do…"

"I'll stay clear." Reese looks away from me. He is actually looking past me. "So why is it that Dinah…"

"She's the only one that can reach out and touch someone."

His smirk matches my own and we're silent again. There's not a lot we can say at this point. We're at a stand still. We can't do anything until either Dinah or this dream wakes up.

BOPBOPBOP

I gave them plenty of time alone. Helena was right when she said that Dinah would be waking up soon. I don't know how she knew, and I'm not going to question it. I'm just glad that Dinah decided to wake up eventually. She was very disoriented but that was to be expected. Actually, she was semi-delirious. She didn't know where she was or who she was, which scared the hell out of Helena and me.

She remembers everything just fine now, though. The best I can figure is that she needed to catch up on everything that had happened to her recently. Her body was completely drained. I don't know what she did before she was hit by the poison, but it seems to have been significant enough to effect the way her brain handled things. It was kind of like she was on overload.

She's fine now. I think we all have to remember that. She's going to be just fine. Even though the poison hit her she doesn't seem to be having nearly as many effects from it as Reese had. She's not paralyzed at all. Her body actually seems to have fought of the poison quite well. She must have already had a slight immunity to it.

"So how are you feeling now?" She's sitting up on her bed and Helena is there with her. Actually, she's in Helena's arms. I would really pity the person who decided to even try and break them apart now.

Dinah rolls her eyes at me. "I'm fine. How many times are you going to ask me that? I can feel my toes and I can wiggle my nose." She stops in the middle of her commentary. "Hey! That rhymed."

Helena and I laugh. It feels good to laugh. "Yes it did. It's good to know that you've maintained the ability to make simple rhymes. Next, we'll start on your multiplication tables."

"Yeah that's funny," She's smiling at me and we both know the real reason behind this banter. Things have been too serious. We don't need it to be serious anymore.

"But seriously, how are you feeling?"

Dinah gives the question the consideration it deserves this time. "I'm fine. I still feel a little woozy though."

I nod. "I'm not really that surprised. You usually do feel that way after you've used your powers past your maximum limit."

Dinah only leans further into Helena's embrace. I'm not sure if they've talked about our little astral projected friend, and I hate to bring it up, but… "Dinah do you know about our reptile friend yet?"

She looks at me for a long time then nods. "She's not real. That's why I didn't feel anything the first and only time I ever touched her."

"So do you think you could find the person behind the dream?"

"You want me to chase the dream?" she's smirking at me so I know she's not too terribly upset by this although I'm pretty sure she's not entirely comfortable with it either.

"I want you to find the person behind it. She has to be leaving some trail on this…projection."

"When do we get started?"

"We don't," Helena interjects, "at least we don't yet. Right now we rest and we make sure that you're okay first. You shouldn't be using your powers now anyway."

I must agree with Helena. Dinah shouldn't be using her powers now. "It's not too terribly important we get it done now. There's still plenty of time. You need to be well before you go out and take down all the bad guys."

"Is Reese still here?" She asks with what I would call hope, but I might be wrong about that. Reese and her never really meshed. They cared, but they never meshed.

I shake my head. "No. Once he knew you were okay he went home." Part of the reason he left was because he knew Helena and Dinah would be exactly as they are now and he's still not entirely comfortable with that yet. When the man fell for Helena he fell hard. "He said that he'd back tomorrow though."

"So he knows where our secret hide-out is now?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "We just couldn't maintain our secret lair anymore."

"Would you really consider it a lair?" Dinah asks. "I mean... we live in a clock tower. It just doesn't scream lair to me."

"What would you consider a lair?" Helena asks.

"The Bat Cave was a lair," Dinah immediately responds. "There were secret hiding places all over the place and places to store nifty costumes and places for secret vehicles and everything. That's a lair."

"The Clock Tower has secrets," Helena responds.

Dinah looks from her to me then turns back to Helena again. "What secrets?"

Helena looks at me and I shrug. "There are no secrets."

"You're lying!" Dinah immediately yells. "I can't believe you're lying to me. Here I am…all in recovery and you're lying to me! Why wasn't I told about these secrets?"

"What secrets." I maintain a perfectly straight face as I say this. "There are no secrets."

Knowing she won't learn anything from me she turns to Helena. "What secrets?"

"If Barbara isn't going to tell then neither am I."

"This is so unfair." Dinah is actually pouting. It's quite adorable really. Helena is going to tell her every secret she's ever learned about this place.

"Well, life isn't fair." I tell her. The pout doesn't work so much on me. Well…most of the time it won't work. This time it's definitely not going to work. I should probably get out of here now. "I'll leave you two alone now. If you need anything later on tonight then just holler."

I make my way towards the bed and open my arms for a hug. Dinah jumps into my arms and wraps her arms tightly around my neck. I wrap my arms just as tightly around her. We may never say it aloud but we were both horrified by what happened. I was there with her through it all and I know I never want to do that again.

Dinah eventually relinquishes her hold on me and I do the same. She's solid and she's whole and she's real. I need to remember that. While I try and sleep tonight I'll have to remember that she's okay. Nothing happened to her that couldn't be fixed or that she couldn't handle.

I take a quick glance at Helena and she's looking at me and I know that she sees right through me. She knows what I'm feeling right now because she's feeling the same way, and I know she feels that way because she hasn't let Dinah out of her arms until I opened mine up.

"You both get some sleep tonight." I stay there for a moment looking at them both then move to turn around and leave them be again. Before I go Dinah stops me once more and places a quick kiss on my cheek. She's just as glad to be alive and with us as we are that she is alive and with us.

"I love you Barbara."

I won't cry. "Love you too. Both of you. Now get some sleep."

I make a hasty exit and close the door behind me. I think I'll be able to sleep better tonight having said that.


	12. Chapter 12 and Epilogue

I had a dream last night. I was standing alone in the hallway of this very old building and there was this organ playing in the background. I walked towards these doors that were in front of me and when I tried to open them they were locked. I tried every door and they all were locked. None of them would budge no matter what I did.

I turned around and just above this organ playing I could hear this tapping sound. It sounded like wood hitting the tiled floor. It was coming closer and closer to me, but I didn't feel the urge to run. So I just stood there and waited for whatever was coming to come. Eventually this woman appeared and she had this walking stick, which I figure was making the tapping sound, and she turns to me as she passes me and tells me, "You can't unlock the doors to the inner mind if you have no key."

Of course I have no clue what this means so I ask what she's talking about and in true dream form she just repeats what she just said. That's when I decided to wake up because obviously this dream means nothing and is a big waste of my time. It's a waste of my time, just like trying to talk to some non-person is a waste of my time.

I don't know what Barbara keeps on expecting me to find out about this reptilian foe, but I'm not getting anywhere. I got further trying to talk my science teacher into believing that it is possible to defy gravity and I still lost that argument in the end...even if I do have my facts straight. It's near impossible trying to feel something from something that isn't real.

I feel like I'm putting my hand on a wall and waiting for it to tell me its inner secrets. Only if these walls could talk...but they don't so it's a lost hope. I've tried talking to the person behind the...well the fake person and I've gotten nowhere.

I haven't learned anything. I tell her to talk and she goes on and on about needing to be strong enough. I can't make sense of any of it and I refuse to try any more. Helena can't talk to her and Barbara hasn't had much success either. We can't talk to her. I refuse to try. I refuse. This is me refusing. My foot is down. I'm tired of helping the person who's evil. That so wasn't in my job description when I applied to be a superhero. Well...there really wasn't any type of job description in the first place but if there were that wouldn't be part of it.

Unless of course, it fell under that category of doing things that one might not want to do, because I think I've actually been briefed about that. I think it falls under the greater good somewhere, but I'm not too sure how much I care about that good yet.

"Dinah, she's asking for you."

How long have Helena and Barbara been standing behind me this time? They do that sometimes; just stand and stare at me waiting for me to finish thinking about whatever it is I'm thinking about.

"Barbara I told you that I'm not going to talk to her anymore." I cross my arms in front of me as I turn to face them. I'm resolved about this. I have put my foot down.

"You're the only one she talks to. We've tried but she won't...we need you now Dinah."

Why does Barbara say those things? Like I don't know that she needs me? Of course I know. How could I not know? I've been told so ever since I woke up from whatever la la land I had taken my little mind vacation in. "I don't want to talk to her anymore. I'm not getting anywhere with her either."

"Dinah I understand but if..."

"Barbara if she doesn't want to do it then don't make her."

Finally Helena speaks up. I knew she didn't want me talking to the thing in the first place, but she wouldn't say anything because she wanted me to make my own choice and I made it but now I'm making a different one.

Barbara looks to Helena then to me and she knows she's outnumbered here. I'm stubborn and won't budge on this position and Helena is backing me up. We're just going to have to find another way to work this out.

I stand firm.

BOPBOPBOP

Okay so I'm sitting across from the phantom again. She's just staring at me and not saying anything. I don't know why she was asking for me before if she wasn't going to talk. This whole thing has been a waste of my time a waste of my efforts and a waste of resources. I have no idea why I let Barbara talk me into doing this again. I don't even know why Helena decided to jump the fence and take Barbara's side on this. I just do not see the point to any of this.

I don't even know this woman's name. I know nothing about her except for the fact that she keeps on threatening me and everyone I care about with bodily harm if she's not released soon. Well she says that and that she needs someone strong enough. I still haven't been able to figure that one out.

All I really know is that she has an affinity for green leather and while she's not real can kill people with poison. She's been here for a week. I've been with her for almost just as long. Didn't I have my foot down?

"I guess I should ask you your name since you're unwilling to tell me anything else," I tell her as I sit on the other side of this nifty little holding energy field thing that Barbara came up with.

"You don't care what my name is," she not very surprisingly snaps back at me.

I snort. "You're right I don't. I don't care about you at all. You've killed a lot of people and you tried to kill me. My caring for you ran out a long time ago." I'm tired of being nice to the evil lady.

"You don't understand."

This is NOT the first time I've heard this. It's not the second or third either. I'm tired of it. "You're right I don't understand. I don't want to understand anymore. I would really just like you to go away."

"If I go away then I die." She yells at me. "I can't go away. Do you think I want to live like this? Do you think if I had a choice that I would?"

"I don't know what you want. You tell me you want a family just like everyone else, then you say you don't want to live like you are living..." I shrug. "Frankly I'm at a loss. The only reason I'm sitting in front of you now is because someone very important to me asked me to do this for her. Personally, I'd just like you to fade away like a bad dream."

She turns her head to the side and looks at me curiously. "You would sentence me to death?"

Would I? I'm not a killer. I've never killed anyone in my life. I've injured, maimed, and freaked some people out severely, but I've never killed anyone. I don't know if...the ability is there the anger is definitely there, but that's not who I am. It never has been. I've always been more into protecting than avenging. I leave the avenging to Helena.

"I'd want to," I eventually respond. "I'd really want to, but I couldn't. I value life too much. Even yours. I'm guessing that's a sentiment we don't share."

"I didn't want them to die!" She screams and jumps into the energy blast which only throws her back. I jump back as well because even though I know she's not real and I know that she's not leaving her prison anytime soon, she still kind of scares the hell out of me and I'm pretty sure she knows it.

"You killed them." I tell her as soon as I recover from my slight bout of absolute fear.

"But I didn't mean to. They couldn't handle me. They couldn't hold me long enough."

"What the hell are you talking about? Hold you long enough for what?"

"To carry me back!"

"Carry you back where?"

"To myself, my home, my family!"

She falls down to the ground and she's crying. It's not the kind of crying where there are just a few tears either. I believe this type of crying would be called sobbing.

I refuse to feel bad for her. "What were you doing killing people then?"

"I needed a host, a host to bring me back."

I think I'm catching on to things here. "You need a host to bring you back to your body?" She nods at me and begins wiping her tears away with the tips of her fingers. "Why do they need to look like you then?"

She shrugs. "I just thought they could handle me better. They couldn't."

"Of course they couldn't handle you. They were all human. You're meta."

"Which is why I need someone strong enough to carry me back."

"Why can't you just get back on your own? You seem to be moving around okay without a real body."

"I don't know. I can't jump back in; I can only be transferred back in like I was ripped out."

Oh well that makes perfect sense, I think. "How were you ripped out?"

She looks at me for a long time. I guess she's not sure if she wants to answer me or not. She has that certain look people get on their faces when they're not sure they can trust someone yet, and I don't see why she would have a problem trusting me. I haven't done anything to her. I'm not the one that was trying to kill her.

"I was in an accident and fell into a coma."

Well I'm sure that'll do it. "Okay," I nod because I don't know what else to do. I have to think about things now. I actually have to stop and think.

"If I get you back to your body you won't hurt anyone? No one. You'll just walk out of here go to your body then we'll be done?"

She nods vigorously. "That's all I've ever wanted to do."

"Well that and you tried to kidnap me...how did you get those other guys to appear anyway?"

"I can pretty much bring anything I want to life."

"Well that's a true gift...really."

I know I shouldn't do this. This is a bad idea. Actually I think this is what bad ideas are made of, but if I give myself too much time to think about this then nothing's going to get done and she'll be stuck here and her body will be stuck somewhere else and there will be much unhappiness to go around.

Helena and Barbara are going to kill me but...I go over to the control panel and turn off the energy field. "If you do anything at all with my body that I don't like then I'm going to push you out and make sure you never get back to yours." I don't even know how I would go about doing that but...well I had to say something menacing to the person who's going to take over my body. "Okay...so how do we do this?"

"Just give me your hand." She reaches out to me and I know my hand should be meeting hers but it's like lead at my side. I shouldn't be doing this. This is a bad idea.

"Dinah what are you doing?" That's Helena. She's on her way over here. I don't have anymore time to think about this. I help her out and hope with all that I am I get through this or I die.

My hand finally leaves my side. "What's your name?" I ask as my hand is enfolded in poison lady's.

"Sarah." She answers and I don't really feel like she's talking to me anymore but from inside of me. I feel different now. I'm seeing everything through this thick haze and it's all in slow motion. I actually feel like I'm paralyzed. I'm just aware of everything but in control of nothing. I'm not liking this feeling. It was a bad idea.

Helena is standing in front of me. She's talking to me but I don't understand any of it. Her hand is cupping my chin and I can feel her warmth...but I still can't hear her. I'm saying something. I don't know what it is. Helena looks angry now. She's grabbing my arm and forcing me to follow her. I stumble once but quickly gain my balance and am able to keep up with her brisk pace.

We're with Barbara now. She doesn't look happy. Her face is set in a scowl and mouth has become almost a straight line. I've never seen her like this before. I think I'm going to be in trouble if I survive this. Why didn't I just listen to myself when I said letting Sarah into my mind was a bad idea. I should really listen to myself more often...or less often however the case may be.

I'm stumbling again. I feel weaker. I'm saying something to Barbara now but I still can't hear anything. Wow I feel like I'm going to pass out. I have that feeling that people usually get when they've been hanging upside down a little too long. I think I need to take a little nap. I need to rest. Staying here is hard.

Wait. I think Barbara is trying to tell me something now, but I can't understand her. I need to learn how to read lips. Helena is in front of me again. I wonder where she came from. She's saying something too. Don't what? I can't do what?

Wow. I'm tired. Sarah's in control now. She needs to take me back to her body. Why aren't we leaving yet? Helena is still trying to tell me something. It's the fifth of May? I like the bay? I'm a good lay? I don't know what she's...oh it's 'don't go away'. I don't know where I would go away to. I just want to rest a little bit. I hear that sleep is actually good these days; four out of five doctors recommend it.

She's trying to tell me something else now? Okay I need to concentrate. I need to bring all that great superhero stuff to the forefront now and concentrate on the words that are being said by those gorgeous, luscious, beautiful lips. I really like her lips. I like the way they feel on mine. I like how they feel on my skin. I like the way they feel when she's...wasn't I supposed to be doing something?

Yes. I need to concentrate. Helena's looking a little frustrated now. Maybe she needs to take a nap too. I don't think she's been sleeping too well lately. That's probably partially my fault. Actually it's probably all my fault. I haven't been sleeping that well and I don't like to be up alone. Helena keeps me occupied.

Okay. I really need to pay attention now. She's trying to tell me something that must be very important. "Don't fall asleep." Wait. She doesn't want me to fall asleep? And since when did I start hearing voices that weren't my own in my head? Ah...she's touching my hand.

"Dinah you have to stay with us. Stay in control until we can break you two apart."

I don't know if I can do that.

"Dinah, sweetie, you have to. You have to or you'll die."

How was she able to hear what I thought? Can people hear what I think when they're in my head or are they just hearing what I'm saying in my head? I should really think about this after I take my nap.

"Dinah you can't take a nap. I'm going to get you to the hospital as soon as I can but you have to stay awake. I know it's hard, baby, but you're just gonna have to do it."

Well I guess if she insists I could stay up for a while longer.

Oh hey she's picking me up now and she's taking me somewhere. We're moving pretty fast. This is actually kind of fun...in a stomach churning type of way.

There are a lot of lights in this city. It also seems like there's a lot of buildings too. We've seem to have landed on every single one. She's really pushing herself hard. I can tell she's getting tired, but that seems to be okay because we're at the hospital now. There are a lot of beds in a hospital. Beds that are good for sleeping in...dreaming in.

I wonder where we're going now. Hey, look that woman looks a lot like me. I bet that's Sarah. She looks like shit. Her face is really pale and her hair is greasy. When's the last time someone decided to give this body a bath?

Helena's trying to get my attention again. I thought we already worked out that I couldn't understand her? Oh...she's holding my hand again. It feels nice.

"Dinah?" She's in my head again. I haven't figured out yet if she can hear my thoughts or if she just hears me talking to myself. I should think about that.

"Dinah that doesn't matter right now. You need to put her back in her body."

I need to do what to who?

"Dinah you need to put Sarah back in her own body."

Oh, Sarah. Yeah she was the one that wanted to kill me.

"Yes she was. Now put her back in her own body."

But I don't know how to do that.

"Sure you do; you just have to think about it."

She sounds a little scared. She shouldn't be scared. I should be scared I don't know how to put her back in her own body.

"Neither of us have to be scared, Dinah. Just...you know what to do. I know you do."

Well when she puts it that way then I guess all I really have to do is put my hand on Sarah's forehead like so and just kind of will Sarah out of me.

"Ow." I'm being held in Helena's arms and my head really hurts. But on the plus side of this I can actually talk again. I'm still really tired though.

I maneuver in Helena's arms so that I'm looking up into her eyes. I'm not too entirely surprised to see tears there. I'm sure she's not too surprised to see the same in my own.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she asks me before she places a soft kiss on my forehead.

I don't know. I guess it was, "I thought about what I would do to get back to you if I was lost."

Helena doesn't have a chance to respond because Sarah is moving on the bed. I stand up and look down into the face of the woman who...well I just look down at this woman.

She reaches over and takes my hand. I can feel things from her now. She's happy. "Thank you so much," Her voice is hoarse, probably from disuse.

"Welcome home," I tell her then turn to leave. I'm happy she's got her life back but for me the cost was just too high. Helena is following me out and as we reach the door a man steps through with a little girl sleeping in his arms. He doesn't notice us at first, but I'm guessing that because his attention is immediately drawn to Sarah.

His big brown eyes light up and he rushes across the room. He screams her name and the girl in his arms wakes up.

"Mommy?"

"Oh baby come here."

This is what Sarah wanted to get back to. She wanted her young child and husband back. This is what she fought and killed for. I still think the price was too high...but I wouldn't take that young girl's mother away from her now or ever again.

**Epilogue**

When we get back to the clock tower Barbara is waiting for us with some hot chocolate. We all sit around the kitchen table and sip on our warm drinks. Barbara doesn't yell at me for what I have done. I'm not too sure I really expected her to. I made one of those really big decisions tonight and I have to live with it. I've reunited a family but who knows how many Sarah tore apart. Those families will never get justice.

I'm not too sure what Reese could tell the jury for that murder trial. The offender was in a coma at the time. It's kind of the perfect alibi.

So this is the life of the superhero huh? I get to sit around here with my very attractive girlfriend and very cool mentor and friend. Who still hasn't told my girlfriend that she's leaving on a romantic getaway with her surprisingly sweet boyfriend. I wonder how Helena will react to that when the subject does arise. I could bring it up now, but I won't. Until she starts telling me about all the secrets of the clock tower then I'm not going to be telling her about Barbara's personal life. Plus, I don't gossip. Often.

"So Dinah how are you feeling after letting someone invade your body?" Okay so maybe Barbara will start yelling at me.

"Are you telling me that you wouldn't do the exact same thing I did?"

"No." Barbara and Helena answer together. I kind of actually believe them too.

"Of course you would. We're heroes. We do the right thing."

Barbara turns and asks Helena, "I haven't let anyone take over my body recently have you?"

Helena shakes her head no.

"Okay for a fact, I know that both of you are lying."

It takes them each a moment to catch up to what I'm saying but they eventually do. Unfortunately Barbara's the only one that blushes. Helena just looks at me and smirks.

"Cute," Barbara responds.

"I know."

Barbara shakes her head and Helena reaches over and takes my hand. "Next time you decide to let anyone who isn't me invade your body; please let me know about it first. At least give me a chance to try and talk you out of it."

I know what she's admitting to me. I shouldn't have made this choice on my own. We're a team. My body is no longer my own...in a way...I guess.

"Next time you both will have full knowledge before someone takes over my body."

They both nod and I know that we're okay now. I'll probably have a few nightmares about this later on down the road, but we're okay. I'm okay. I'm here with my family and we're just fine. The only person missing is Reese, but I think it's going to take a while for both of us to actually get used to caring about each other in the family sort of way. I could always use the advice of a big brother though. Tomorrow I'll definitely give him a call.

THE END


End file.
